Why Alpha Women Have A Harder Time Finding Love

Why Alpha Women Have A Harder Time Finding Love ©iStock/a-wrangler

Being a strong alpha woman comes with many challenges, and finding love seems to top that list. Our Type A personalities and go-getter attitudes are often misconstrued by society, and we’re sometimes seen as arrogant monsters destined for the life of a spinster. But strong alpha woman are capable of deep and lasting love, and we want that, too. Too bad it’s so hard to find.

  1. We’re outspoken and opinionated. It’d be easier if we were the type to smile, nod, and agree with everything the men we’re interested in say, but that’s just not built into our DNA. When we’re on a date and we disagree with something, we have no issues speaking our minds. Unfortunately for our dates, they seem to think this is combative, but really, we’re completely OK with not seeing eye to eye on things. In fact, we actually welcome a difference of opinions.
  2. Most men find us intimidating. Strong and successful women have an agenda, and it’s to always strive to be the best, no matter what. Sometimes we meet men who feel like they need to be superior to us, and if we’re more successful in our life game, this turns them off and makes them run the other way. We know men like to feel like the providers in life, but please get on board with the times. Women are killing it now and the dating world needs to catch up.
  3. We’re seen as “too challenging.” For once, we’d like someone to look at us and make the same effort we’re willing to make for love to become a reality in our lives. We’re not “too challenging,” it’s just that even if we want love in our lives, we’re not going to make it the be-all, end-all meaning of our existence. We’ve got other stuff going on and we want someone to be a part of it, but only part. We may be a different breed, but we’re still capable of being great partners.
  4. We’re genuinely busy in our lives. When we have hectic schedules, it’s seen as playing hard to get or being a woman who will never truly have the time to fit a man into her world. This is entirely inaccurate — it’s just that things with us won’t unfold as quickly. It’ll take some time to get to know us and take down our strong and sturdy walls. We’re pretty cautious in life on all fronts, which is why we’ve become the strong alpha women we are.
  5. It’s harder to soften us up. We come across hard-headed at first, because in reality,, we are — but that doesn’t mean we don’t have an unlimited amount of softness and tenderness inside that is just waiting to be brought out. Men are inherently used to women who are soft and feminine, and while we have those qualities, we’re not really the ‘fall head over heels’ kind. Blame it on our alpha logic, but we tend to focus on making sure you’re a worthy investment of our time first.
  6. We have a hard time accepting help because we generally don’t need it. The idea of having a man to help us with things appeals to us, but we’re just not used to it. So when we don’t ask for help upfront and insist on doing things ourselves, it comes across as rendering a man useless to our lives. We don’t actually feel that way at all, we’re just more hesitant on giving up our independence.
  7. We refuse to play silly dating games. If we like you, we’ll show you and tell you and have no qualms about it. But in this day and age, keeping our feelings a mystery is what our dating society feeds on. Sorry, but we’re not playing these silly games. If we want to text you first or respond right away, we will. We’re alphas — we go after what we want and we see no reason to hide our interest.
  8. As strong as we are, we’ve been broken before. Alpha women are as strong as we are for a reason. It’s because we’ve gone through plenty of tough crap in our lives to get to that point and our dating lives are no different. We want love just as much as any other single woman does, but it’s much harder for us to find. We’re rational, smart, and thrive on our independence, but we do want love in our lives and we hope someone will just take the time to get to know us fully before being scared off by our initial ferocity.