You Can’t Always Please Your Parents — And That’s Okay

There’s nothing like a rant on from your parents to come along and burst your bubble when you thought things in your life were going just fine. As annoying they can be, they are just trying to fulfill their roles as wise caretakers. That being said, you’re not always going to see eye to eye, and that usually works out just fine. Here’s why you can’t always please your parents, and why you shouldn’t worry about doing so.

  1. They come from a different generation. Think of how much the world has changed in just the past 10 years, and then imagine coming of age in an entirely different generation. Their landscape of the world will always be viewed from a different perspective than you have, so you’ll have to make peace with your differences.
  2. They might not know what’s best for you. They might think they do, but ultimately you’re the only person who can know for sure once you’re an adult and start your own life.
  3. Love isn’t calculated. You fell in love with the exact opposite kind of guy they would want you to be with, but that’s life, because love doesn’t have to be logical.
  4. If everyone listened to their parents, the world would be pretty boring. You think every rockstar who changed the course of music history got a resounding, “That sounds like a good career path!” from their parents? No.
  5. Parents just don’t know everything. As a kid, you think your parents know all, and then you grow up and realize how totally human they actually are.
  6. They want you to be great. Whether they’ll admit it or not, seeing you stick to your goals and dreams shows that you’re resolute and strong, which means they did something right.
  7. Mom and dad don’t always agree. Pleasing the parents is a futile plan when your parents don’t even agree on what exactly is best for their kiddos. You need to drown out the noise and listen to your own intuition at a certain point.
  8. Timing is everything. It’s tough enough trying to get the group to agree on a brunch spot every weekend, so operating on anyone else’s timeline about major life stuff just isn’t ever going to happen.
  9. Sometimes they’re less mature than you are. Just because they’re older doesn’t mean they’re more enlightened. Every human is on a learning curve for as long as they’re here, which means mistakes and challenges for all.
  10. They have different values. You dad might want for you financial security, while you’re more interested in traveling the world before you even start thinking about opening padding your savings account.
  11. Because you’re not your parents. As much as they can pass on to you genetically and behaviorally, they’re also as different from you as your best friends are, which means lots of different opinions.
  12. They don’t always please themselves. Your responsibility to make them happy is not bigger than their own responsibility to make themselves happy, and sometimes that comes in the form of just accepting your children as individuals.
  13. You’re not perfect. Even if you were trying to be perfect for the ‘rents, you’re just not and you’d F up from time to time, anyway.
  14. It’s literally impossible to please everyone. Living authentically is the only way to live a life of emotional freedom, and being the best version of you is all that you can ever really do.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog