15 Things You Don’t Realize You Do Because You Were Raised By Strict Parents

If you were raised by strict parents, you might’ve been relieved when you finally got your own space and freedom. Although you love them, living under their thumb wasn’t easy. However, are you sure you’re not still carrying some of the rules that they drummed into you? Here are 15 things you might not realize you still do as an adult because you were raised by strict parents.

1. You check and double-check your work.

You had to be a perfectionist when you were growing up because your parents had super-high expectations and standards. As an adult, you might still be holding yourself to those high standards. So, maybe you double-check your work and obsess about making everything perfect. It can become really exhausting!

2. You over-apologize.

If you go around telling people that you’re sorry for everything, even when you haven’t done anything wrong, this could be because your parents were so tough on you. You’re carrying around a bit of unnecessary guilt that could be tied to trying to get people’s approval.

3. You go home early after parties.

man sitting and reading book

You always had a strict curfew when you were growing up and there were serious consequences if you broke it. This naturally caused you to keep checking your watch whenever you were out with mates. Maybe you still feel that pressure to go home before the sun comes up, even though you don’t have to!

4. You’re scared of being judged.

When you failed as a kid, maybe your parents were tough on you. Again, it’s because of their high standards. You might still be worried that people will judge you, which is why you tiptoe around others instead of occupying space with your colorful personality. You might even become a people-pleaser to avoid rocking the boat!

5. You check in with other people before making a decision.

It’s common to doubt yourself if you had strict parents when growing up. They might’ve made you doubt yourself if they were highly critical of you. So, now as an adult, you might feel like you have to check in with others to make sure you’re making the best decision.

6. You love your alone time.

Spending time on your own is pure bliss for you. It’s a time when you can be creative, listen to music, and do whatever you want. Your bedroom in your parents’ house was probably your special sanctuary, and the only place where you could be yourself.

7. You stay private about your life.

When people ask you personal questions about your life, you might keep your lips zipped. You’re a highly private person who doesn’t like giving away too much information about yourself. This could be because your parents were so strict, you had to keep your truth to yourself.

8. You feel uncomfortable when expressing your feelings.

Stressed young married couple sitting separately on different sides of sofa ignoring each other after quarrel. Offended spouses not talk communicate feeling depressed disappointed after argue.

Having strict parents probably made you feel like you couldn’t express what you really felt. You had to fall in line and get their approval to stay in their good books. As a result, you might struggle to express your feelings in relationships, which could cause you to bite your tongue a lot or become a people pleaser.

9. You never leave your phone on the table.

If you ever left your phone on the dinner table, your parents would freak out, and maybe they still do when you have dinner together! You’ve learned that you shouldn’t be distracted during family time, and it’s so ingrained in you that you don’t ever check your phone during dates or get-togethers with friends. You also get highly peeved if others check theirs.

10. You’re a pro at persuading other people to do things.

You’re excellent at persuading people to do what you want, and it’s largely because you had to be an impeccable planner when dealing with your parents. If you wanted something, like the chance to attend a friend’s party, you had to know how to persuade them and have an answer for all of their questions.

11. You’re an excellent problem solver.

two men arguing in public

Your problem-solving skills have probably been sharpened by your your parents’ strict way of raising you. You had to spend time thinking about how to dodge their rules and find loopholes! This has made you a creative thinker who’s skilled at looking at the bigger picture and focusing on solutions.

12. You’re tempted to lie about small things.

Although you’re not a big liar, sometimes you’re tempted to give people little white lies. This is because you sometimes had to lie to your parents to be able to have some freedom. For example, sometimes you had to say you were going to the library when you were actually going to a club, or you’d be stuck at home all the time and having a serious case of FOMO.

13. You’re a conservative dresser.

When choosing what to wear, you might find yourself reaching for conservative items. You’ll skip the low-cut dress in favor of something that covers you up a bit more. This could be because you had to be conservative growing up. If your parents tried to control what you wore, you might’ve subconsciously carried those rules with you into adulthood.

14. You have impeccable manners.

You’re always saying “please” and “thank you.” Manners are important to you and you pay attention to whether or not people you’re dating have them. If they don’t, you’ll lose interest! Your parents always taught you to have good manners and they’ve become second nature for you.

15. You say “no” to spontaneous dates.

Growing up, you always had to ensure you planned things ahead of time to get your parents’ permission or find a way around their rules. There was no such thing as your bestie rocking up to the house to pick you up without you having spoken to your parents first. You might still dislike spontaneous events and dates. You’d rather plan things ahead of time as it gives you more control.

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Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.