12 Phrases Only Insecure People Use

12 Phrases Only Insecure People Use

There are certain phrases that just scream, “I have zero self-confidence and am super insecure!” You’ve heard them, maybe even used them without realizing what they’re actually saying about you. In reality, you don’t need to explain or justify yourself so much, nor do you need to undersell yourself in order to temper other people’s expectations. If you or someone you know says these things, they need to boost their self-esteem.

1. “I’m Just Lucky, I Guess.”

Ever heard someone brush off their achievements by chalking it up to luck? It’s like they can’t accept that they might have actually done something right. This phrase undermines their hard work and skill. It’s a classic case of someone not owning their success. They need to realize that it’s not just luck; it’s their effort and talent that got them where they are. Continually attributing success to luck can become a self-fulfilling prophecy where they never feel truly deserving of their accomplishments. It’s not just about humility; it’s about giving yourself some credit where it’s due.

2. “I’m Probably Wrong, But…”

Here we go, the classic self-doubt signal. When someone starts a sentence with this, they’re basically saying they don’t trust their own judgment. It’s like they’re apologizing for having an opinion. Confidence is about standing by your thoughts. It’s fine to be open to other ideas, but don’t throw your own under the bus before you even start. This kind of preemptive self-deprecation just invites others to disregard your opinion. It’s about finding a balance between being open to feedback and not diminishing your own voice.

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4. “I’m No Expert, But…”

Ah, the old ‘I’m no expert’ line. People use this when they’re too scared to own their knowledge. It’s like they’re giving themselves a backdoor to escape through if someone challenges them. Newsflash: you don’t have to be an expert to have a valid point. It’s okay to contribute to a conversation even if you’re not the world’s leading authority on the topic. This constant hedging is a sign of insecurity. It’s perfectly fine to share your thoughts while being open to learning more.

5. “Just My Luck!”

This phrase is a double whammy of negativity and self-pity. It’s usually used when something goes wrong, and it’s like the person is resigned to believing they’re perpetually unlucky. It’s a defeatist attitude that doesn’t solve anything. Instead of wallowing in self-pity, how about finding a way to fix the situation or prevent it next time? Constantly blaming bad luck is an easy way out, a way to avoid taking responsibility for your actions or the situation.

6. “It’s All My Fault.”

While taking responsibility is important, self-flagellation isn’t. Constantly blaming yourself for everything isn’t accountability; it’s insecurity. It’s like they think they’re the root cause of all problems. Sometimes things are your fault, sure, but not always. It’s about balance and understanding that sometimes, stuff just happens. Constantly internalizing every problem as a personal failure is a recipe for low self-esteem and unnecessary guilt.

7. “I’m Sorry to Bother You, But…”

Starting a conversation with an apology sets the tone that you’re a burden. It’s like they feel their presence or thoughts are inherently annoying. Sure, be polite, but you don’t have to apologize for needing to talk or ask something. It’s not a crime to require someone’s attention or help. This habitual apologizing can make it seem like you’re always in the wrong or overstepping, even when you’re not.

8. “I Can’t Do Anything Right.”

Talk about being a drama queen. Everyone messes up, but saying you can’t do anything right is just an exaggeration. It’s a self-defeating prophecy that gets you nowhere. Instead of throwing a pity party, how about learning from mistakes and moving on? This kind of talk can quickly become a self-fulfilling prophecy where you start to genuinely believe you’re incapable, which is rarely, if ever, the case.

9. “I Should Just Be Quiet.”

Ever been in a discussion and someone drops this line? It’s like they’re voluntarily putting themselves in a box. Saying you should just keep quiet is a sign of low self-esteem. You have a voice and a perspective that’s worth hearing. Don’t silence yourself before you even speak. This defeatist attitude does nothing but reinforce the idea that your thoughts aren’t valuable.

10. “I Don’t Deserve This.”

Whether it’s about success or kindness from others, claiming you don’t deserve it reeks of insecurity. It’s like they can’t accept that good things can happen to them or that they’re worthy of success. Everyone deserves happiness and recognition. Start believing it. This isn’t just modesty; it’s a harmful belief that can prevent you from enjoying and accepting the good in your life.

11. “I’m Nothing Special.”

False modesty alert. Saying you’re nothing special is another way of underselling yourself. It’s like you’re trying to lower people’s expectations. You don’t need to be the next Einstein to be special in your own way. Embrace your uniqueness; it’s what sets you apart. Constantly downplaying your worth not only affects your self-esteem but also how others perceive and value you.

12. “They’re Better Than Me.”

Constantly comparing yourself to others and putting yourself down in the process is a telltale sign of insecurity. It’s as if they measure their worth against someone else’s achievements. Remember, everyone’s journey is different. Focus on your path, not on how it stacks up against someone else’s. This kind of comparison is not only unhelpful but also ignores the fact that everyone has their own strengths and challenges.

13. “Why Does This Always Happen to Me?”

This phrase reeks of a victim mentality. It’s as if the person believes they’re perpetually targeted by the universe for misfortune. This mindset not only breeds a sense of helplessness but also prevents them from seeing their own role in their circumstances. Life throws curveballs at everyone, but constantly questioning why you’re always the ‘victim’ can keep you stuck in a negative loop. It’s more empowering to look for ways to overcome challenges rather than wallowing in self-pity.

14. “I Guess I’m Just Not Good Enough.”

Ah, the classic insecurity anthem. This phrase is a clear sign of self-doubt and a lack of self-worth. It’s as if they’ve internalized every failure or rejection as a reflection of their inadequacy. But here’s the thing: not being right for one thing doesn’t mean you’re not good enough for everything. This kind of all-or-nothing thinking is not just unhelpful; it’s destructive. It’s crucial to understand that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, and one setback doesn’t define your entire worth.

Gail is Bolde's social media and partnership manager, as well as an all-around behind-the-scenes renaissance woman. She worked for more than 25 years in her city's local government before making the switch to women's lifestyle and relationship sites, initially at HelloGiggles before making the switch to Bolde.
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