You Change As You Grow Up, But So Do Your Friendships

You Change As You Grow Up, But So Do Your Friendships ©iStock/svetikd

If you’re lucky enough to carry the same friends with you in life during the grueling transition from adolescent teenagers and young adults to full blown grown up, count those lucky stars, because the shift is real. Your twenties are the years where major life changes occur, and some friendships don’t make it through. Some of us drift naturally, and others make conscious changes. Through every stage of life, maintaining friendships becomes more and more difficult. If you’ve made it, congratulations to you — you are the chosen ones. Here’s how your friendships change as you truly grow up.

  1. Your squad gets smaller. You realize that having a smaller circle of people you have deep connections with is more satisfying than having a huge crew to run with. It’s no longer a popularity contest, and you care more about the quality of the people you spend your time with than the quantity.
  2. You talk about realistic goals. While it was fun to dream and talk about life goals to marry a Backstreet Boy and live happily ever after, you’re an adult now and you’ve set our priorities and plans to attainable endeavors. You talk about and support each other with career goals, health goals and family planning and laugh about your former plans to be Ms. BSB.
  3. You don’t just get drunk and gossip. In the younger years of your adulthood, going to parties and gossiping about whom did what with who was a solid part of the foundation that kept you together. Those were crucial times, but now you do other stuff, like work out together, because your bodies are getting older now and you have to take care of it. You cook together, and make non fashion related shopping dates to Ikea to furnish the adult homes you’re now living in.
  4. You discuss relevant and worldly issues. It’s no longer always about what guy you’re crushing or the amazing new dress you got for your upcoming Saturday night event – those things still happen, but now you’re actually interested in political movements, world crisis and issues that affect society. You’re tax paying, volunteering and charitable donating adults, and it’s pretty awesome that you talk about real things that actually affect you and your futures.
  5. You take each other’s advice more seriously. As adults, you realize that when people give you advice, it’s no longer with malicious intent or ulterior motives and so you take what your close friends tell you quite seriously. If they don’t like the guy you’re dating, or they think you’re making a hasty financial decision, they aren’t afraid to heed you warnings. The best part; even if you don’t take their advice, they’re still going to be there to support you if it all comes crashing down.
  6. You’re brutally honest with one another. You don’t sugar coat anything for the sake of sparing someone’s feelings because as a grown ass adult, you know better than to falsify facts. If the dress isn’t flattering, you say so. If they’re treating people unfairly, you let them know it. Because at this point, you know it doesn’t help your friends to stay the same, and so you encourage their own personal growth the same way you do your own.
  7. You celebrate milestones together. Celebrating birthdays as the years most anticipated events are a thing of the past. Now you’re attending baby showers, kids’ birthdays, graduation ceremonies, planning and attending weddings together and toasting career advancements and promotions. Look at you, being all adult and stuff.
  8. You’re much closer, even though you spend less time together. You’ve become rooted in your own individual lives and although there was a time before when you literally spent every moment you could together, those moments are further in between now. When you do get together though, it’s as if no time has even passed, and you appreciate and enjoy the time you spend so much more.
  9. You have genuine love for each other. When your life is met with the challenges and responsibilities that come with being an adult, you begin to appreciate the good in your lives a lot more, and long time and close friends are the brightest light among the chaos. You aren’t just friends anymore, you love each other genuinely. You have their back in every way and you just want to see one another kick ass in life. And if you’ve made it this far, you know you’ll be friends forever.