While You’re Busy Getting Married & Having Kids, I’ll Be Doing These 10 Things

As a woman in my mid-20s who’s been dating for over a decade, I can honestly admit that I’m not even close to finding love. Hell, I can’t even keep a boyfriend for longer than a few months. However, recently I’ve noticed all my friends are rushing to get married and start a family and while that’s great for them, I’m not in any rush to follow in their footsteps. I’ll be doing these 10 things instead:

  1. Going on crazy international adventures Like many people my age, I absolutely adore traveling. I want to go as far as I can, have as many crazy experiences as possible and push my limits. The idea of having a husband may be nice, but having the freedom to pack a bag in the middle of the night and book a plane ticket on a whim is a rush that marriage can’t give me. Plus, I genuinely think that traveling the world can make you a better person. Once you commit to someone, you have to make decisions together and I’m not up for asking permission from anyone else but myself.
  2. Raving at music festivals I’ll hit up every music festival I find. While you’re flipping out over your flower order going wrong, I’ll be at Burning Man and Coachella. It’s hard for me to imagine running around covered in feathers in places you definitely do not want to have them while knowing that I’ve got two kids at home. I need more time to live as though I’m a kid — fearless and curious without anything holding me back.
  3. Working 18 hours a day towards building my own business Sure, you can have both a family and a career, but juggling work and family isn’t as easy as CEOs like Marissa Meyer make it seem. I’d like to build my own business and make it successful before I get married, even if it means that I have to work too much at the moment. Starting a company or working towards a promotion takes a lot more than eight hours a day. There’s no way one person can do a good job at both career and relationships simultaneously, in my opinion. I’d like to have one part of my life in order before embarking on the other.
  4. Experimenting with my sexuality I’m 99 percent sure that I like men, but I don’t see any reason why I shouldn’t have a fling with a girl at some point. Saying “I do” to someone is a huge promise. I don’t want to bind myself in a contract of exclusivity without knowing what other options there are out there.
  5. Speaking at #girlboss conferences Promoting entrepreneurship among young women is an incredible initiative and I fully intend to be a part of it. While it would be lovely to show off your husband and kids at a business convention, others like to hear about you getting stuff done. While you’re getting married, I’ll be traveling from Barcelona to Bulgaria and back to give speeches on self-motivation. overcoming economic adversity and finding fulfillment in life. I’d like to inspire thousands of people, not hang out at a mortgage home with only a few.
  6. Going broke and recovering quickly I love to travel and though I’m good at it, circumstances don’t always work in my favor. Last year, I was dead broke leaving Indonesia but I pushed through. I was able to do it because I was single and eating pasta every night wasn’t that big of a deal. Now, imagine spending all your money and having no way to provide for your kids. Being married and having a family is a huge responsibility. You can’t afford to live on the edge when you know someone depends entirely on you. I want to use my single years to give all my ideas a go without being too concerned about my finances.
  7. Enjoying the freedom to make mistakes Your 20s and early 30s are all about making mistakes. How else would you learn? What separates me from my married friends is that I have the luxury to screw up. If I’m in a relationship and end up cheating on an impulse, I might regret it, yes, but I won’t ruin an entire family. Getting married is kind of like entering adulthood with no return. The consequences from your mistakes affect more than just you. Pressure’s on.
  8. Saying “yes” to random opportunities I’m going to live in a treehouse in the Caribbean next month. It was a random opportunity that came my way and I took it. Does it have risks? Absolutely, but I’m prepared. I would never be able to drop everything and jump into something blindly if I was married or had kids.
  9. Going wherever the mood takes me I can’t stay put and there’s no reason for it, to be honest. I like to party in Barcelona, eat my heart out in Italy, build my brand in London. In order to find my perfect home base, I need to sample lots of different destinations. I can absolutely uproot myself whenever I want to. Imagine doing that when you’ve got kids. Taking them out of school and forcing them to make new friends is a nightmare. You also have to consider your husband’s job. It gets too complicated. I like my life simple and exciting, that’s why I’ll be saying “no” to marriage for now.
  10. Being there for my BFFs Choosing to be single or married is a personal choice. Some of my closest friends are busy planning weddings while I’m writing books and hiking mountains. Whatever they choose wouldn’t make me respect or value them less. Single or married, I will accept your decisions and support them.



Dayana is a passionate traveler who's been navigating foreign lands and confusing relationships since she was 16. You can read more of her work on Matador Network and her blog, Dee Across The Sea.