When You’re A Control Freak, Finding Love Can Be Nearly Impossible

You have your life completely in order. Your priorities are straight and every single aspect of your life is totally in control—that is, except for your love life. Could it be because you’re a total control freak? Here are a few signs you need to chill out:

  1. You can’t let things go. You don’t just ignore your feelings when you’re a control freak—you obsess over every thought and emotion. You can tell that the people around you just want you to move on but you just can’t give up. A fight isn’t over until you say it is, and no one wants to be in a constant battle, especially in a relationship.
  2. It’s your way or the highway. You have no idea how to compromise. You’re too used to things going your way because that’s exactly how you like them. You feel you’ve mastered life and that’s why you can’t seem to budge even an inch when a man sees life differently. Relationships are all about give and take to keep both parties happy, but when you’re a control freak, any sacrifice can feel unbelievably overwhelming.
  3. You think there is a correct way to do anything and everything. Anything a man does that doesn’t fit your idea of what’s “right” is just plain wrong, which no man really likes to hear. You nitpick constantly and most guys are going to be more than a little annoyed with that. You’re in control of everything, and no one likes to be just a player in your game. You know that no one’s perfect but at the end of the day, you can’t help but wish that everyone around you would just do things your way.
  4. You know how to forgive but not how to forget. You get that people make mistakes—after all, they’re only human—but even though you realize that you can’t seem to forget the mistakes they make. You forgive them but each mistake is still a strike in your book. The worst part is since you can’t let go of their mistakes, you never let them forget it.
  5. You think you’re always right. There’s not a single man out there who would be okay with being wrong 100 percent of the time. Still, you have a hard time admitting any fault of your own. Since you’re totally in control, it makes you feel like you’re totally right… which inherently makes anyone who disagrees with you the king of wrong. Every once in a great while you owe someone an apology, but even then, no one understands how hard it is for you to say you’re sorry.
  6. You just want to be able to tell your partner what to do. Life would be so much easier for everyone if they’d just listen to you all of the time. You’re so in control of your own life that you feel the need to try to run everyone else’s life too. You don’t know how to give up control and unfortunately, most men want to come home to a girlfriend, not another boss.
  7. You can’t seem to go with the flow. At your very core, you’re a planner. You want to know when and where and you don’t want any changes along the way. Tweaks might be okay to others, but if someone messes with your system in even the tiniest of ways, you can’t help but feel like all hell just broke loose. Some men might think that makes you dramatic, but at the end of the day, being in control is just a part of who you are.
  8. You have a solid picture in your mind of who your perfect guy will be. You’ve imagined him so completely that anything less than the picture in your mind just won’t do. You’ve fallen in love with the man of your dreams—the only problem is he’s only in your dreams. Reality never compares to the controlled situation in your head because anything else would be settling for less than perfect.
  9. Too many things turn you off. Since you’re obsessed with control, you know exactly what you like and what you don’t. That might sound like a blessing but that characteristic isn’t without its problems. The fact is the slightest little mishap can turn him from the possibility of Mr. Right to a certified Mr. Wrong within seconds.
  10. Love is something you just can’t control. You know that’s a fact but it still drives you completely insane. You want to find love so badly that you obsess over every detail to determine whether or not your relationship is “right.” No matter how much you try to let your love life proceed naturally, you can’t help trying to take the reigns. Love should be natural, not forced. Unfortunately, when you’re a control freak, that’s easier said than done.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.