You’re Not Crazy For Asking Your Partner These 11 Things 

It’s normal and healthy to have standards in relationships, and while you shouldn’t rely on your partner for things like your health and happiness, you shouldn’t have a problem asking them for these things. If they’re not doing them willingly, they’re the crazy one, not you.

  1. To define the relationship Look, wanting to DTR within a week of dating someone is a bit crazy, but if you’ve been dating for months and you’re still hovering around Relationship Town without a goal in mind, then you have every right to know if your partner actually wants to make things official or if you should take your business elsewhere.
  2. To keep you updated on what they’re up to You’re an official couple. You have a right to know why your partner’s been AWOL for days. They owe you some respect, to say the least! You don’t have to live in each other’s pockets, but you shouldn’t be called clingy for asking where they were.
  3. To give you some space If your partner wants to see you every waking moment, that might feel like too much. You have a right to ask for a bit of space and take some for yourself. If they can’t handle that, then they’re clingy and codependent. Your partner should never try to make you feel bad for needing some time to do your thing without them, especially if you’re open with them about what you’re doing.
  4. To help you out sometimes You shouldn’t feel like you’re all alone in your relationship, otherwise, what’s the point of being in one? If you can’t ask your partner to help you with something—like, say, changing your flat tire when you’re stuck on the highway—without being made to feel like a loser or selfish, they’re toxic! You need to have support from your partner and you should feel like a team.
  5. To open up about their past relationships While you might want to avoid ex conversations on the first few dates, you should eventually be able to jump into your previous relationships without it being a big deal. I mean, you can learn a lot about your partner from their previous love stories. If they’re super private about their exes, then you have to wonder why. Could they be hiding something?
  6. To give you a heads up when they’re coming over It’s interesting how some people get offended if you ask them to drop you a text before coming over unannounced, but you have things to do and they should respect that you’re not going to be available all the time.
  7. To let you know when they’re free for another date If you’re officially dating but your partner always leaves you hanging when it comes to spending time together, that can make you feel insecure in the relationship. Yeah, spontaneous dates can be awesome, but you should also have some planned ones in the works to create a healthy balance. If your partner can’t handle you asking them out or expecting them to commit to a future date, they’re an a-hole.
  8. To be down for one-on-one time If your partner always wants to spend time with you in a group, like with his best friends around, that can start to wear you down after a while. Every couple needs to have some quality time where they do their own thing without anyone else around. That’s really not unreasonable.
  9. To go down on you If you’re always pleasuring your partner but they never return the favor, that’s not fair. You have every right to talk about the issue and find out what’s going on. Otherwise, you’re just going to keep pushing your pleasure aside, and you deserve better than that.
  10. To meet their family… or allow you to introduce them to yours. Again, doing this too early on in the relationship can seem a bit OTT, but if you’re official and exclusive, there’s no harm in getting those introductions out of the way so you can start blending your lives.
  11. To talk about the future If you’ve been dating for months and your partner still can’t seem to talk about a “we” future instead of an “I” future, something could be wrong. You have every right to know where you stand and you deserve to be with someone who wants to design a future with you in it.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.