If He’s Still Seeing Other Women, He Won’t Be Seeing Me Much Longer

It might sound extreme, but I expect a guy I’m dating to cut off any other romantic options in his life when he starts dating me. After all, if he’s serious about me, seeing only me shouldn’t really be a sacrifice — it should be the natural choice.

  1. I don’t like to share. I might share my favorite shoes or dessert, but I’m not going to be sharing the guy I’m dating. I want him to be mine and mine alone, especially if we’re having a great time together. The thought of him going to other women afterward makes me feel a bit sick, to be honest.
  2. I’m not dating other guysWhen I start dating a guy, I’m only with him. I don’t go out and date other dudes in the name of “keeping my options open,” so why should I put up with guys who can’t or won’t offer me the same?
  3. I’m not an option. The guy is sadly mistaken if he thinks that I’m just going to be one of the women he’s got in his life. I’m a priority, not an option, so shouldn’t treat me like one if he wants to keep me in his life. Otherwise, I’ll be out of his life faster than he can say “Tinder.”
  4. I want a genuine connection. If the guy’s dating other women, he’s not into anything real. He’s probably just keen for some fun, but I want more than just a good time — I want a real connection with someone physically, mentally, and emotionally. If he can’t give me that, then I’m not going to be with him.
  5. It’s not a competition. I value myself too much to try to compete with other women for a man’s attention — that’s a little too “’80s soap opera” for me. Besides, I believe I shouldn’t have to compete. If a guy likes me, he’ll want to date me exclusively.
  6. I want to know I’m the only one. I can’t trust a guy who’s still on the dating scene while taking me out for dates. It’s creepy and makes me worry that I have a cheater on my hands. Honestly, what’s stopping him from continuing to date other women even if or when he does make things exclusive with me? I need to know I’m the only one if this is going to get off on the right foot.
  7. He’s not serious about me if he’s dating other women. How can a guy be seriously into me if he’s dating other women? He might say, “But we’re not even an official couple!” to make me seem like the crazy one, but he should know right after meeting me that I’m the one he wants to date. Period. It’s really not rocket science. He’ll know if I’m worthy of being exclusive with him or not.
  8. I won’t degrade myself. I won’t stick around while a guy plays games, plays hard to get, or just plays the role of the jackass. If he’s dating other women to keep an eye peeled for something better, I’m not going to wait around to see if I make the cut. Who does he think he is, anyway?
  9. I know what I want, and I won’t settle for less. One of the most important things I look for is a guy who’s really into me and isn’t afraid to shout it out to the world. I’ve been in a relationship with a guy who wouldn’t call me his girlfriend out of not liking labels (what a jerk), and another guy who was weird about putting his relationship status on Facebook (probably ’cause he wanted to play the field), so I’m quite picky about a guy being 100 percent into me and not being afraid to show it. It’s a dealbreaker if he can’t do this.
  10. I want the romance. I know it often feels like the romance is dead thanks to the way everyone’s just looking to hook up, but I won’t lower my standards. I want that romance with someone who is as excited to take that adventure with me.
  11. I value my time. It might not be considered cheating if he’s dating lots of women at the same time on a casual basis, but it’s enough of a betrayal for me. The thing is, it’s really easy to know that he’s not only dating me, so the minute the signs start revealing themselves, I’m going to be out of there because I refuse to waste my time. Why would I stick around knowing that I’m not the only one? Hell no.
  12. I don’t want to be treated like someone to fool around with. From early on in dating, I can tell if a guy is seeing me just as someone to fool around with or someone who he wants as his girlfriend. It’s not just how he treats me, but if he’s willing to be with me and no one else. If he passes that test, then I know we’re onto a good thing.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.