Texting Isn’t Dating — How To Get Him Off Your Phone & Into The Real World

Texting Isn’t Dating — How To Get Him Off Your Phone & Into The Real World ©iStock/Jasmina007

Dating in the age of tech means it can be super easy to never actually see the person you’re supposedly romantically involved with in person. But talking isn’t dating — you need to actually hang out face-to-face. Here’s how to move things into the real world:

  1. Wait longer to answer. No, don’t play stupid games like pretending to be too busy to answer your new guy’s text right away. You’re not faking it — you really do have a packed life. If you want to stop texting this guy 24/7, then let an hour or so pass between each response and you’ll get what you want. He’ll get the hint and stop blowing up your phone when you’re trying to work.
  2. Make plans ASAP. Matched with a cute guy on Tinder? Chat for a bit, then go ahead and make a move. You don’t need to exchange numbers first and text for days upon days. That won’t get you anywhere, because remember, talking isn’t dating. You need to meet in person.
  3. Tell little white lies. Just because you’ve finally met a cool guy doesn’t mean you want to text every minute of every day. If you want to give your phone a rest, just tell a bunch of white lies. Say your boss doesn’t allow texting from 9-to-5. Say you turn your phone off to concentrate. Whatever you want — it’ll do the trick.
  4. Try new things. If you hang out more, then you’ll automatically be spending more time in person than texting, and that’s exactly the direction that you want to go in. But make sure you’re suggesting super fun dates, or going to the same old pub for burgers and beer might get old fast.
  5. Talk it out. Feeling frustrated that your new BF will text you all the heart smiley face emojis in the world but can’t tell you to your face how he really feels about you? Why not go ahead and ask him why he’s so shy? Maybe he’s been afraid of rejection so feels more comfy saying stuff via text. If you don’t ask, you’ll never know, so you might as well go for it.
  6. Stop giving a crap. What are you really going to accomplish by texting a new guy so much? You’re not going to make him like you. You’re not going to like him any more than you already do, either, because it’s not real. It’s just words on a tiny screen. So if you can find it within yourself to stop making such a big thing out of texting, you’ll be so much better off.
  7. Speak up. If your BF literally can’t stop texting you and you’re starting to feel like you need some space, it’s time to speak up. You don’t need to keep your feelings bottled up inside, and he might not even realize that he’s annoying you so much. Just say you feel it’s super important to talk face-to-face more than you text. He’ll get it. And he’ll probably be super glad that you said so, because as everyone knows, texting is part of dating, but it can’t be a substitute for the real deal.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.