Too often, I see girls cling onto a relationship with a guy who does nothing but make them feel like crap. Whether he’s slightly poking fun at your career or always ditching you for his friends, there are not-so-subtle hints that he doesn’t think you’re good enough to dedicate much time or effort to. Once you stop being afraid to see the writing on the wall, you can show him that you DGAF what he thinks by doing these 10 things:
Stop answering his late-night booty calls. Rather than hopelessly waiting for him to call or reach out, only make yourself available during business hours. I’m not kidding. If he’s not calling you between the hours of 9 a.m. and 5 p.m. Monday through Friday, then he’s not worth it. Hell, go the extra mile and get yourself a personal secretary to relay the message that your weekends and evenings are too important to waste.
Fill up your social calendar with literally anything and everything. Busy is the name of the game when it comes to telling a guy to eff off. Make your days so jam-packed with things to do that you couldn’t squeeze him in even if you wanted to. Being “too busy” doesn’t have to mean that what you’re doing is necessarily Insta-worthy. Painting your nails is too busy. Talking on the phone to your mom is too busy. Cleaning out your cat’s litter box is too busy. He’s made it clear that you’re not a priority in his life, so it’s time to make sure he knows he’s not either.
Make sure you stick to every commitment you make. If (and by if, I really mean when) he gets the hint and starts trying to reel you back in, don’t you dare break plans for him. I don’t care if all you had scheduled for the day was aimlessly walking around the home goods section at Target. At this point, browsing for lacy hand towels is more important than making time for this guy.
Take a social media sabbatical. It’s tempting to fall into the go-to revenge tactic of Snapchatting yourself taking shots with a bunch of random dudes at a bar, but that move only smells like one thing: desperation. He’ll see it, your friends will see it and all the only reaction you’ll get is a lot of pity and a lot of hangovers. Don’t trust yourself enough not to subtweet, and delete all social media apps on your phone for at least a week. You’ll have fewer regrets, and he’s more likely worry about what it is you’re actually doing.
Don’t talk crap to anyone outside of your trusted crap-talking circle. The last thing you want to is for the remnants of your bruised ego and broken heart to be heard down the grapevine. There are some obvious things you need to get off your chest, just make sure you’re only venting to people who won’t pass it along to anyone else. When in doubt, keep it between you and your dog.
Go shopping. I feel like most people probably already know this, but just in case you forgot: retail therapy is a real thing. If a guy gets you down, just go buy yourself a new dress or pair of heels and you’ll forget his name. It’s science.
Talk to some Tinder randos. It might feel a little slimy — and we definitely love to hate on guys for doing this — but talking to other people is the quickest way to remind yourself that there are hundreds and thousands of other dudes out there. And just because one is acting like a total d-bag doesn’t mean they all will. Distract yourself with some new cuties and before long, you won’t be worrying about ol’ whats-his-face.
Make a bucket list and start working on it. The drama of relationships can really cloud us from seeing how awesome it is to be alive. Sure, the guy you like is treating you like day-old garbage, but you can still climb mountains and eat a maple bacon donut and meet Ellen. Stop focusing on all the things you feel like you can’t do (i.e. date the guy you think want to date), and start reminding yourself of all the things you can do.
Remind yourself of all the reasons you rule (and he doesn’t). When someone doesn’t want us, it makes them seem illogically better than we are. We can build up all the things we like about them and ignore all the things we didn’t. If we look at the situation from a place of reason and logic, it becomes much clearer that the guy isn’t all that great. If you still fail to see that, enlist the help of your mom or one of your meaner friends.
If (when) he does reach out to you, be nice. Everything inside you will tell you to be cold and heartless or to write a long paragraph telling him off, complete with at least five hair flip emojis. But that kind of behavior is an obvious way of showing him you still care, and even if you do, he doesn’t deserve to know it. Instead, be polite, short and way too busy. While it might be nice to get his attention, you can’t forget about all the BS you had to go through to get it.
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