If You’ve Been Single Too Long & Are Beginning To Doubt Yourself, Read This

It’s impossible to be a happy and strong single woman every day of your life. Sure, you try to focus on the good things that you have in your world and you wouldn’t want to change your path, but sometimes it’s not easy to stay positive when dating is such a disappointment.  If you’ve been single for way too long and are beginning to doubt yourself, you need to remember this:

  1. You’re doing the work. No one ever said finding love would be easy, and you’re putting in the necessary hard work and effort, even if it might feel like you get nowhere every time. You’ve figured out the type of guy you want to date. You’ve learned who to stay away from and what your comfort level is. You’re in the best possible position to meet the person you’re supposed to be with — now you just have to wait patiently.
  2. You’re amazing. Hey, sometimes you just need a reminder. You’re an awesome person and you deserve all the love and success in the world. Don’t let the worst parts of dating change that and make you feel bad. There’s a guy out there who will appreciate all the amazing things about you.
  3. Your life is going to change. Just because you don’t have a boyfriend right now doesn’t mean that’s how it’s always going to be. Your life is absolutely going to change. Think how much changes in a month, a year, two years. Think about how different you are from who you used to be, and then say you don’t believe things will get better. You can’t do that, right?
  4. You’re in a good spot. If you can protect your heart, weed out jerks, give your BFFs legit advice and give yourself those pep talks too then you’re in a really good place. You can’t forget that just because you’ve had some bad luck. Give yourself way more credit than you want to and you’ll feel better in no time.
  5. You’ve been here before. Chances are you’ve been single at least once before in your life. You survived then and you WILL survive it now. You’ll be even stronger because now you’re older and you have more life experience to draw from.
  6. You just need one person. Stop feeling so overwhelmed with the endless sea of online guys. You don’t need to date all of them. You don’t even need to date most of them. You just need one person to fall in love with and call your own. Take the pressure off and focus on each guy as they actually are instead of comparing them to people that don’t exist.
  7. You live a life people envy. You may think that you’re jealous of girls who have been in love since forever, but the truth is that you are definitely living a life that lots of people envy. You’re killing it in your career (and maybe you’ve got a side hustle going on too), you have a great social life and cool hobbies and lots going on. Remember that when things feel too tough to keep going.
  8. You have nothing to complain about. Sure, you might think that every part of dating is something to whine about, but it’s actually not. The worst thing that ever happens? You go on a dull date. You get canceled on and get saved from said dull date. You click with someone physically but hate their personality (or vice versa). Is that really such a big deal? Not really.
  9. You don’t have to be miserable. Sometimes this can be really hard to remember, but you owe it to yourself to repeat this like a daily mantra. You can choose happiness and peace over misery any day. And you should. If you don’t, being single is going to feel so much worse than it actually is.
  10. You have to keep trying. Giving up may seem simple and attractive, but it’s never going to be the better option. You really have no idea when you could meet someone you like — but that doesn’t mean you just stop the search. Did you know you would ever be as happy in your job as you are right now? Did that mean you would stop job hunting? Yeah, exactly.
  11. You are where you need to be. It’s hard to admit that being single is actually good for you, but it truly is. It teaches you lessons that nothing else can, and it’s why you’re the incredible person that you are today. Be grateful for the journey and look forward to what’s coming next because it’s going to be worth it.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.