Some women are naturally quiet or at least know how to exercise volume control, while others can’t keep their voices down and just don’t give a f*ck. They’re naturally loud and not afraid to shout it from the rooftops… literally. But just because some of us are OK with living at maximum volume doesn’t mean it’s easy.
We get told to keep it down routinely. From our childhood classrooms to being grown adults in the workforce, we’re constantly told to keep it down or stop talking. We’ve definitely been spoken to about this on more occasions than we can count. Oh, we’re loud? Please, tell us something we don’t know.
Inside voice? WTF is that? The idea of having an “inside voice” is absolutely insane. How does that work, exactly? Is it like being a mime? What’s a whisper?
People think we’re seriously pissed when we talk passionately about something. No, I’m not upset, I’m just very confident in this conversation and my voice matches my enthusiasm. Stop accusing me of being angry when I’m actually just so excited about what I’m saying.
Or they think we’re just bitchy or rude. Just because our voices are loud doesn’t mean we’re bitches. There’s a difference between being downright mean and speaking words at a higher volume. Try listening to what we say instead of how loud we’re saying it, because we’re really not trying to offend anyone.
We’re not shouting — this is just our normal voice. WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M SHOUTING? I’M JUST TALKING LIKE I NORMALLY DO.
Yes, our volume translates in the bedroom. And those guys we’ve dated who have close neighbors or thin walls have had to tell us to tone it down a few times before. Oops.
We’re extremely chatty. Many people in our near vicinity can hear exactly what we’re saying. We used to care, but now we don’t give a sh*t. Be prepared for long, hilarious, and loud conversations, because we love ALL the talking.
We don’t know how to whisper. What others consider a “normal voice” is probably what we consider a whisper. So if you’re telling us a secret, it’s best if we’re completely alone, otherwise we can’t guarantee that we won’t accidentally blurt it out in shock louder than you prefer.
Everyone knows when we arrive to the party. Because we announce our arrival unknowingly to everyone just by saying hello at the door and then laughing wildly because we’re just happy to be somewhere where we can be our loud ass selves. That’s what parties are for, right?
Movie theaters are a struggle. We’re the loudest laugh in the movie theatre, always, and when we comment on a crazy scene, we get shushed for it routinely. Ugh. We can’t help it.
We terrify shy people. Shy people are overwhelmed in our company. They just don’t know how to react to all the volume, so it usually results in them nodding politely in terror as we unintentionally shout conversation at them.
Our laugh is even louder, so we sound like hyenas. There’s no such thing as soft laughter with us. If we react to something funny, it’s go big or go home. Sorry in advance to your ear drums.
People are easily intimidated. No, we’re not trying to scare you, we just talk like this. Just go with it. It’s OK, we won’t bite.
We don’t realize how loud we actually are. We have no idea what this “normal voice” everyone keeps telling us about actually is. We’re our own version of normal.
Speak up, we can’t hear you. When someone speaks quietly or “normal” to us, we’re like, “WHAT DID YOU SAY?”
Lowering our voices is a lot of work. We’ve tried to be quieter, but failed miserably in the process. Because when we try to whisper, we likely go too far and no one can actually hear us so when they ask us to repeat ourselves, we revert to our normal volume. SORRY ABOUT THAT.
So we might listen to loud music just to avoid being nagged completely. Because sometimes, we’re just f*cking exhausted from being told to “keep it down” or shushed, so we just plug our ears with some loud ass music and avoid talking entirely for a while.
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