The Dating Struggles Of Being An Alpha Female

Being an alpha female is, for the most part, pretty awesome. I know this because I am one. We’re wildly independent, ferociously driven and we favor passion over tender romanticizing. We’re also incredibly stubborn, hard-headed, opinionated, and can be intimidating or misjudged by men. This makes our dating lives more of a challenge to navigate.  We’re not your typical submissive and doting partners, we’re a challenge. For this reason, finding a man who can handle and understand the traits we carry is much harder. These are the real struggles of being an alpha female in the dating world.

We have smart mouths. We’re wildly sarcastic about nearly everything and anything we can make light of. We’re not afraid to make sexual innuendos or express opinions that aren’t typically “ladylike”, because screw that. This comes across as bitchy to the men whose balls aren’t big enough to date us, or sleazy to men who think we’re signalling for sex.

We’re not afraid to speak our minds. We don’t hesitate to say exactly how we feel about something even if it means we tell a guy straight up that we don’t like the sh*tty thing they said or did, or how we feel about a certain controversial issue. Unfortunately, they would prefer that we dance around their behaviors and remain delicate instead to feel maximum masculinity.

We take the lead, and that makes most men run. An alpha female knows exactly what she wants and doesn’t hesitate to go for it. We’ll ask you out first, kiss you first and unbutton our blouses first when the mood is right. We need a man who can handle this, and not feel emasculated by it. Not only do we take charge on matters of intimacy, but we’re the kind of girlfriends who’ll get sh*t done, whether it’s booking a trip or planning the most kick ass Super Bowl party you’ve ever had, complete with kegs and steak sandwiches.

We’re unfazed by cliché romance. The alpha female favors passion over romance. While flowers are sweet and all, we would rather be greeted with long passionate kisses in the hallway, leading to something a little more creative than vanilla dates and sack sessions.

We’re challenging. We aren’t afraid to get into a debate with our men – which they hate to lose, and so do we. This can turn into some pretty butt-hurt reactions from a man or the cliché logic that we’re “just crazy.” We don’t find issue with having intelligent debate and we’re not trying to be unruly. We have our own opinions and thoughts, and if men can’t handle them, oh well.

We’re brutally honest. If we don’t like something, we say it. If we do, we say it too. We will bring up uncomfortable conversations because we would rather put the truth on the table than not be true to ourselves and who we are, which are women who say it like it is.

We have very few damsel in distress moments. Have you ever driven by a woman on the highway whose changing her own flat tire? She’s likely an alpha female. We don’t mind having a man help us with the more challenging handy work, but if he’s not around, we will figure out how to do it ourselves, and not complain about it.

We’re genuinely busy, and it frustrates our suitors. We’re likely in a position of leadership or at the very least, slaying it at whatever we do. This means that we devote a good chunk of our time to doing the things we love and want to do, whether it’s our career, hobbies or sports we participate in. It’s not that we don’t want you to be a part of it or aren’t interested, but we’re a challenge to get time with — and not in a game-y way, but rather a “we’ve got real sh*t to do” way.

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