Women are raised to believe in fairy tales. From the time we’re young, we’re exposed to ton of Disney movies which give us the idea that Prince Charming eventually finds us, showers us with flowery and glittery trinkets, whispers sweet nothings into our ears and lifts us up onto his saddled up white horse as we gallop off into the sunset and forest creatures serenade our departure with a catchy love song.
Fast forward to reality, and romantic gestures have a whole new meaning. There are no singing forest creatures, no white horse, and the new way of whispering in your ear is receiving an unsolicited picture of the prince’s penis. It’s not so bad, but what you were raised to believe in versus what you actually get are nothing alike. Here are the differences between what you expected romance to look like versus what is actually does.
Expectations: Meeting your mate:
You’ll bump into each other in a coffee shop; he smiles, asks you out to dinner, and holds your latte while you write down your phone number.
"list">Reality: 1 out of 10 of your Tinder matches asks you to meet mutually at a coffee shop after 4 days of mindless small talk via text message. You might pay for your own coffee.
You receive flowers for no reason and deliveries to the office which leave all your lady office mates jealous and gushing about what a great guy you’ve got.
"list">Reality: You receive pizza deliveries for your romantic nights on the couch.
Expectations: Romantic baths.
You’ll have a romantic candlelit bath, snuggle, and wash each other with Frank Sinatra playing in the background.
"list">Reality: You can’t even fit in the tub together.
Expectations: Candlelit dinners.
You’ll have long stem candles, napkins folded into swans, and a three course meal while holding hands across the table and gazing into each other’s eyes.
"list">Reality: You have Red Lobster, sit on your phones texting the whole time, and hide those delicious cheddar bay biscuits in your napkin for later on at home.
Expectations: Love letters.
You’ll receive hand written declarations of love and sometimes poems.
"list">Reality: You receive penis pics on your smart phone and/or requests to grab sandwiches on your way home from work.
Expectations: Serenading outside your bedroom window.
You’ll have pebbles thrown at your window and be met with a dashing fellow who serenades you with your favorite song.
"list">Reality: You receive a booty call text at 1am saying “u up?”
Expectations: Prince Charming.
He’s successful, powerful, disturbingly handsome and he picks you up in a limo or with a horse drawn carriage.
"list">Reality: He’s a pretty solid average Joe with a decent job and car. He texts you to let you know he’s in the driveway.
Expectations: The relationship.
You’ll live in that honeymoon stage and be that crazy making out and super in love couple that everyone envies.
"list">Reality: A couple years in you become legit aggravated at the very slight graze of their foot on yours under the covers when you’re trying to go to sleep.
You were expecting roses, white linens, long stem candles and soft recitals of Voltaire originals. You would meet in the cutest fashion; have textbook dates with progressions to meeting the parents, moving in together all and up until your Prince Charming gets down on one knee and vows to spend forever making you the happiest woman on earth.
Reality: While there might have been and still are occasions of white linens and long stems, overall your relationship is realistically normal. And by that, we mean that you’re blissfully happy with much less than you expected. You have awkward moments of tenderness, you bicker and some nights, you don’t even want to touch each other. You don’t sing each other songs, or take rides in horse carriages, but you’re living in a real and modern land of love and even though you still love your Disney movies and Rom Com fantasies, you’re happy living in your own reality.
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