10 Benefits Of Waiting To Settle Down

If you dream of one day finding your dream guy, tying the knot and living the fairytale, be grateful it hasn’t happened yet. The fact is that waiting to settle down, whether by choice or circumstance, has more advantages than downsides. Here are just a few of them.

  1. You get to figure out who the hell you even are. Let’s be honest—most of us have no idea who we are in our early twenties. You think you know and go about your life according to that, dating guys who are totally wrong for you because of it. Eventually, you figure out that you’re constantly evolving and need to be comfortable with that. Spending more time on your own gives you a chance to figure out what makes you tick, what you feel passionate about, and what kind of person you are. That can only be a good thing.
  2. You get to do whatever you want whenever you want. Don’t underestimate the power of independence, solitude, and being the captain of your own life. Even when you’re with the most laid-back guy, certain activities you used to enjoy solo go out the window. You spend more time doing things together and those things tend to be ones you can both enjoy. Be grateful for the opportunity to do what you love on your own terms—it doesn’t last forever.
  3. You figure out what it is you’re really looking for in a life partner. One of the biggest perks of waiting to settle down is that you start to develop the list of things you really want in a serious significant other. You figure out as you date more, and watch others date more, what you will and won’t tolerate. That’ll save you so much time, energy, and heartbreak in the end because you won’t go after guys that don’t measure up.
  4. You’re probably less likely to cheat (maybe). I don’t have science to back me up here, but it seems to make sense that if you wait to be in a serious, monogamous relationship, you’ll probably get the urge to play the field out of your system before you settle down. This may not be true for everyone, but FOMO could definitely cause cheating. After all, the idea of sleeping with just one person for the rest of your life can scare even the most hopeless of romantics among us. Holding off on being tied down should help in this regard.
  5. Chances are, you won’t settle. When you’re used to being independent and develop a serious boss lady attitude about your own life, you aren’t going to be in a rush to share your life. People settle because they feel like they have to—time’s ticking and none of us are getting any younger, after all—but when you wait to get serious with someone, you realize that you’d be fine on your own if it came to that.
  6. You only have to worry about you. Just like independence is a wonderful benefit of waiting to settle down, only having to worry about you (and your cat) is a beautiful thing too. You only have to worry about what you want for dinner, where you want to go on vacation, and what movie you want to see. It sounds great in theory to have someone else to consider in your big life decisions, but it can also be challenging to have to think of how every little thing you want to do will affect your partner. Enjoy not having to do that for as long as you can.
  7. You can spend your money however you want. Even if you keep your bank accounts separate, being in a serious relationship means your spending habits are monitored. Bills and other adult expenses become a shared responsibility and therefore your spending becomes someone else’s business as well. Yuck.
  8. You develop your own way of life. Nothing’s worse than those couples who are practically one person. They do everything together and long ago ditched their friends so that they never had to spend a minute apart. WTF? Use your single time to develop your circle of friends, find your hobbies, establish your routine, and spend time on yourself. Your future other half will be grateful for it and so will you.
  9. You seriously mature so that you’re ready to handle a partnership. Age doesn’t always equal maturity but experience usually does. Waiting to settle down means you’ll experience more on your own and you’ll grow from that. Doing stuff on your own and for yourself really helps you appreciate yourself, and honestly, it helps you grow the hell up. No one wants to date a child.
  10. You realize you’re amazing all by yourself and you don’t actually need anyone. I’m not advocating that you never settle down but I’m saying that the longer you wait, the more you realize you’re bomb AF all on your own! The more you love yourself, the more someone else will too (and the less BS you’re likely to put up with. Score!)
C. is an aspiring yogi and Ph.D student who loves her dogs, bright lipstick and to travel. Find her on IG @drparko121314