Ladies, Being Too Nice Isn’t Hot — Here’s Why

Being called “nice” used to be considered a good thing. But in our eat-or-be-eaten world, nice girls are often put on the back burner in favor of the more exciting, mysterious, and even dramatic girls. Most guys are drawn to a girl who will make their heart race and keep them on their toes, and unfortunately “nice” girls don’t exactly do that. In love, you don’t want to fly under the radar, you want to be the kind of girl no guy can stop thinking about. Here’s why “nice” girls often come up short in love.

  1. They don’t make an impression that lasts. Nice girls are usually the wallflower type. They’d rather fade into the scenery than ruffle any feathers. Therefore, people tend to forget they even exist. That’s not to say that you need to be a massive bitch to get people’s attention. However, being too nice will ensure you remain unmemorable.
  2. They let guys walk all over them. Guys love to push a girl’s buttons. They’ll do it on purpose to test her limits. But the nice girl doesn’t have any, and as soon as a guy realizes that, he loses all respect for her and it’s downhill from there. You’re not a doormat, so don’t act like one.
  3. They give guys too many chances. Instead of cutting a guy who betrays her out of her life, the nice girl will give him another chance. And another. And another. Whether he deserves them or not, she always thinks it’s her duty to let him prove he can change, when it would be better for both of them if she just walked away. Being too nice often means giving the benefit of the doubt. Most of the time, they don’t deserve it.
  4. They’re afraid to step on any toes. She and her friend have their eye on the same guy, but the nice girl will always bow out gracefully rather than fight for what she wants. It doesn’t matter that maybe the guy isn’t into her friend — she’ll step aside before she even finds out. Who knows what you might be missing out on if you do this?
  5. They don’t take risks. Not only will the nice girl probably not ask a guy out, she’ll rarely venture far outside of her comfort zone at all. She’ll have a hard time meeting new guys, or intriguing them at all because she’d rather be nice than interesting. They don’t say “nothing ventured, nothing gained” for no reason, you know.
  6. They’re boring. You always know what to expect from a “nice” girl. She always does the right thing, and while that’s great and all, being predictable isn’t. Sure, it’s not your job to entertain people or keep them on their toes. However, being too nice is a bit of a snoozefest, and it won’t be long before guys lose interest.
  7. They’re afraid of confrontation. The nice girl doesn’t start fights. In fact, she avoids them at all costs, even if that means she ends up getting the short end of the stick every time. There’s nothing wrong with being a natural mediator or peacekeeper, but not at the expense of your self-respect.
  8. They don’t stand up for themselves. Nice girls are always putting everyone else’s needs before their own. Of course, relationships require a certain level of compromise, and you can’t always get what you want, but nice girls have become accustomed to never getting what they want, and have come to expect it.
  9. They think being “nice” is enough. They rely so much on their image as the nice “girl next door” that they forget guys like girls with personality. No guy wants to date someone who is just nice. They want a little edge. It’s okay to get pissed off sometimes or express a negative opinion. Really, we promise.
  10. They seem like they lack passion. She doesn’t fight for anything because she’s afraid to rock the boat, so it seems like she doesn’t really care. She spends more time making sure everyone else is happy than herself, and guys notice how two-dimensional that makes her.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to, contributes regularly to, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.