Have you ever been in a relationship with a liar before? It’s one of the most devastating reveals ever. You feel like you’ve wasted your time on a complete stranger and it’s hard to clarify what’s real and what’s been fabricated. If you think you may have been duped, here are some signs so that you can dump this guy for good.
He’s very protective of his phone. Privacy is important in every relationship, but if he’s almost angry when you’re close to his unlocked phone, it means he’s afraid you’ll snoop. Honestly, he wouldn’t be paranoid if he didn’t have something big to hide. Maybe he’s been in contact with an ex recently, or perhaps he’s even juggling relationships. It’s normal to feel slightly uneasy when someone picks up your property, but anything beyond that is a huge sign.
Something just doesn’t feel right about his stories. One time, a boyfriend told me he got a new part-time job as a security guard at a bar. The story just didn’t feel right to me. It seemed his finances didn’t really improve and he seemed to have shifts whenever he was trying to avoid plans with me. To this day, I don’t know how legit this job was, but I do know that a breakup happened right afterward (and he had a new girlfriend within days).
He seems to get into a lot of successful adventures. It’s nice to have a life filled with a little bit of wonder but remember that this guy is only human. If he’s telling you about a modeling career from back in the day and then tells you he’s been approached to teach tennis but he needs to balance that with the amazing CEO job that he bagged in his mid-20s, it’s healthy to be suspicious. Some people are lucky, others just like to fabricate stories to sound more impressive.
He’s quick to one-up you. If you have a skill, he’ll prove he can do it better. Even if he never shows you, he’ll insist he’s a master. This is kind of a tiresome and annoying personality trait, but it’s also a huge sign that he’s a liar.
“Oh, it’s nobody” is something you hear fairly often. If you notice his phone ringing a lot more these days and he’s quick to brush it off, it’s likely something he doesn’t want you to know about. It could be debt collectors or a co-worker buzzing him after hours. Maybe it’s even responses to a solicitation he posted online. If it was a robocall, he’d probably be a lot more open about it. Everyone gets those.
He’s secretive about his past. Some people aren’t necessarily open books, but if you’ve asked him simple questions that he’s seemingly blown off, it means there could be details he doesn’t want you to know. Maybe he tries to placate you with small details. Telling you he has a sister who lives overseas is one thing, but avoiding the story about how they had a massive falling out is another. When someone really cares about you, they won’t be afraid to let you in.
He doesn’t have the receipts. A compulsive liar will lie about anything. They can say they stopped for McDonald’s on the way home but have a car lacking in the appropriate amount of fast food garbage. They may have said it because they wanted to avoid getting lunch out or maybe they just really wanted McDonald’s and figured it’d be a good part of their story. If he’s pulling out weird lies like this, don’t even think he’s actually being honest about the big stuff.
He always hesitates before making plans. Instead of an “I’ll definitely be free on Saturday,” you usually need to wait a little bit for him to agree to a date. Unless he’s a co-parent or legitimately has a crazy and unpredictable work schedule, there’s really nobody else he needs to answer to. That means he could be lying about other relationships or even other activities that you wouldn’t approve of.
You’ve gotten some shady social media DMs. It’s really hard for “the other woman” to reach out. So if they do, you want to believe them, or at least investigate their claims. If he swears he’s not cheating but the girl has all the proof, just thank her. She’s not trying to wreck your relationship, she’s trying to save you from continuously dating a liar and cheater.
He’s quick to shift blame on you. Nobody’s perfect, but if you question something you think he may have lied about and he turns it back on you, it’s proof that there’s a lot he isn’t telling you. He’s attempting to justify his actions in order to be in the right when it’s so obvious that he’s not. Don’t take the blame for this guy’s faulty personality.
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