10 Mistakes Socially Intelligent People Never Make

10 Mistakes Socially Intelligent People Never Make

Having decent social skills isn’t all about being able to win over a crowd of people but also the pitfalls you dodge. There are plenty of mistakes socially intelligent people avoid because they’re all too aware of what a downer they can put on an interaction. Whether you’re meeting someone new or building on existing relationships, sidestepping these errors is key to maintaining a solid social game.

1. They don’t dominate the conversation.

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People with social smarts know that blabbing non-stop is a one-way ticket to Snoozeville for anyone on the receiving end. They’re all about that give-and-take. They share a bit then pass the ball, making sure everyone gets their turn to speak. This isn’t just about being polite; it’s about making the convo a two-way street. They get that hogging all the talk time doesn’t just bore others, but it also shuts down chances to learn something new about the people they’re with.

2. They never fail to read the room.

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Walking into a room and sensing the vibe is like a superpower for socially intelligent people. They can pick up on whether it’s a somber day or if the energy’s buzzing, and they adjust accordingly—also known as savoir-faire according to Psychology Today. They won’t crack a loud joke in a quiet, focused workshop, and they’re not the ones giving a lecture at a party. It’s about matching the mood so they’re riding the same wave as everyone else, not swimming against the current.

3. They never forget people’s names or other details.

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Remembering names and key facts is their secret sauce for making connections stick. It’s not just about names, either. It’s about recalling that their coworker loves hiking or that a friend’s kid is ace at soccer. It shows they listen and, more importantly, that they care. And in a world full of “Hey, you” and “Nice to meet you again,” being the person who remembers makes them stand out in the best way.

4. They never neglect their manners.

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Good manners are non-negotiable for people with solid social intelligence, and there are several modern social etiquette rules that respectful people always follow without fail. They see politeness not just as a set of rules but as the currency of good relations. It’s about being respectful and considerate, which in turn makes people feel valued. They’re the ones saying “excuse me” when they bump into you, not because they have to, but because they genuinely mean it. This consistent politeness builds a reputation of being classy and respectful, and it’s appreciated more than they might ever know.

5. They don’t interrupt or talk over people.

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Interrupting is a no-go for those with top-tier social skills. They respect the floor when someone else is speaking. Why? Because talking over someone is like saying, “My words are more important than yours,” and that’s not the message they want to send. They’re patient, waiting for their turn because they know everyone’s viewpoint adds value to the conversation. Plus, they understand that cutting someone off is a quick way to kill the vibe and come off as rude.

6. They never forget to follow up.

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People who shine in social settings treat follow-ups like gold. Met someone new? They’ll drop a message to say it was great meeting them. Promised to send over a link or a recipe during a chat? You bet it’s hitting your inbox. This follow-through shows they’re reliable and it deepens connections. It’s not just about networking; it’s about nurturing relationships by showing that the little things you talked about mattered.

7. They don’t act insensitively toward different cultures.

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Having cultural sensitivity is like a badge of honor for socially intelligent people. They make it their business to be aware and considerate of different customs and traditions. It’s not about tiptoeing around differences; it’s about embracing and respecting them. They’ll research, ask polite questions, and listen to understand, not just to respond. It’s this cultural empathy that helps them navigate a globalized world smoothly.

8. They never fail to adapt to different groups.

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Like a chameleon, those with social smarts can adjust to different social landscapes. They read the room, yes, but they also read the people. They’ll dial down the sarcasm with more sensitive souls or crank up the energy with the high-octane crowd. It’s not about being fake; it’s about being considerate of how varied personalities gel. They find common ground with just about anyone, and that’s a skill that turns acquaintances into friends.

9. They don’t gossip or speak badly about other people.

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Those who really get the social game steer clear of the gossip mill. They know that nothing good comes from spreading stories or bad-mouthing others. Besides, gossip has a way of coming back around, and they don’t want to be on the receiving end of that karma. By keeping their conversations clean and positive, they create a safe space for others around them, one where everyone feels secure knowing their reputation won’t be fodder the moment they turn their back.

10. They never dismiss other people’s feelings.

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Dismissing how someone feels is basically telling them they’re wrong to feel that way, and that’s a big mistake socially savvy people avoid. They acknowledge and validate people’s feelings (and never seek validation for their own), even if they don’t fully understand or agree with them. It’s about showing empathy and respect for the person’s experience. This habit goes a long way in building and maintaining strong, trust-filled relationships. After all, according to Psychology Today, feeling heard and understood is a basic human need.

Jeff graduated from NYU with a degree in Political Science and moved to Australia for a year before eventually settling back in Brooklyn with his yellow lab, Sunny, and his girlfriend, Mia. He works in IT during the day and writes at night. In the future, he hopes to publish his own novel.