People With Solid Self-Esteem Never Base Their Worth On These 16 Things

Without self-esteem that’s as strong as The Rock, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking that external things and people around you determine your worth. But how you perceive yourself is what really matters. True self-worth is an inside job! Self-assured people know better than to allow these things define their self-worth. They know they matter just as they are!

1. A packed schedule

guy looking stressed at desk with laptop

We tend to glamorize being busy and stressed, but it’s not healthy to let a chock-a-block schedule make you feel like you’re valuable and in high demand. People with high self-esteem prioritize being fulfilled over constant activity. They know that happiness stems from living a rich, meaningful life, not a hectic one.

You may also like: These 16 Types of People Are Red Flags In Disguise

2. A romantic relationship

There’s so much pressure to meet someone and get into a romantic relationship, and that can feel overwhelming at times. However, being coupled doesn’t make a person more valuable than someone who’s flying solo. Single or partnered, confident people know that their worth isn’t tied to their romantic status or another person.

Don’t miss out – follow Bolde for exclusive content daily

3. Parenthood

For women especially, there’s still a lot of pressure to have children, The Conversation notes. Wanting to be a parent is cool, as is deciding to stay child-free. However, it should go without saying that it’s sad to determine your worth according to whether or not you’re bringing children into the world. There are many valid reasons not to have kids, and parenthood is a personal choice, not a measure of one’s worth.

You may also like: These 16 Types of People Are Red Flags In Disguise

4. A high-flying job


Having a successful career might make one feel good, especially when it comes to securing their financial future, but it doesn’t have a powerful effect on your self-esteem. For proof of this, notice how some people are just happy and confident, regardless of what they do for a living. Plus, it’s important to note that life can often change in an instant — companies close, people are laid-off, etc. You have to value yourself based on more than just the titles on your resume.

Don’t miss out – follow Bolde for exclusive content daily

5. How many social media followers they have

Social media is sometimes a numbers game. There’s pressure to have as many followers as possible, but underlying this is the need to feel popular and worthy. The more followers you have, the more people will see and possibly “like” your posts, boosting your ego. Of course, what happens on social media isn’t real life, which matters more than online metrics.

You may also like: 20 Ways A Narcissist Acts When They Cant Control You

6. How much money they have

Linked to having a high-flying career, no one should determine their value according to how much money they earn or stash in the bank. Doing this can cause them to use money to fund a shallow or materialistic life. No matter how much money one has, it can never buy genuine self-esteem, which is marked by being true to yourself and comfortable in your skin.

Don’t miss out – follow Bolde for exclusive content daily

7. How many friends they have

Having a huge circle of friends is usually linked to being popular and likeable, but people with high self-esteem know that whether two or 200 people like them, they shouldn’t depend on that external validation to feel good about themselves. Although they value their friends, they don’t base their worth according to what others think of them.

You may also like: 30 Things Men Do When Theyre Having A Midlife Crisis

8. What car or house they own

Material possessions might give someone an ego boost, but this is short-lived, Psychology Today notes. Whether someone has a fancy car or huge house, it doesn’t have anything to do with who they are as a person. It’s one character that sets them apart from the crowd.

Don’t miss out – follow Bolde for exclusive content daily

9. Their physical appearance

People who have a healthy self-esteem don’t worry too much about their appearance. There are so many things that matter more than what you look like, such as intellect and empathy. Besides, your physical appearance changes over time, so clinging to it for self-worth is useless.

You may also like: 15 Adult Traits of People Who Were Bullied As Kids

10. Their previous mistakes

It’s sometimes easy to fall into the trap of thinking that past mistakes define you. People with high self-esteem don’t let the past chase them into the present or future. They focus on their positive traits, what they’ve learned from their failures, and how they can have a happier future.

Don’t miss out – follow Bolde for exclusive content daily

11. Their famous social connections

Being socially connected can be a way for people to feel good about themselves. If they know someone influential or quasi-famous, they might feel like this rubs off on them. But, it actually just highlights that they’re clutching to other people’s success instead of focusing on their own — which is what people with healthy self-esteem do.

You may also like: People Who Lack Self-Awareness Frequently Say These 14 Things

12. Their family bonds

Family can enrich our lives and offer us support, but not having close connections to family doesn’t necessarily mean that someone’s life is unhappy or that they’re missing out. There are many ways in which someone’s life can be fulfilling. For example, instead of having blood ties, they might have friends who they’ve chosen as family.

Don’t miss out – follow Bolde for exclusive content daily

13. Their achievements

Basing your self-worth on achievements, like when it comes to academics, sports, or any other undertaking, can be a way for people to search for external validation. Without those accolades, they might struggle to figure out who they are or why they matter. It’s impossible to decide whether one is worthy or not based on a string of test scores!

You may also like: People Who Rarely Exhibit Empathy Usually Have These 16 Traits

14. Their age

There’s a huge focus on aging in society, but there really shouldn’t be! People with high self-esteem know that they have lots to offer the world and themselves, no matter how young or old they are. They also don’t allow perceptions of age to throw them off their course.

Don’t miss out – follow Bolde for exclusive content daily

15. Comparisons with other people

Comparing yourself to others can be damaging, to say the least. It can make you constantly anxious to be better than everyone else, which is a recipe for misery. People with good self-esteem know that they’re not in a competition with those around them. They give their lives and themselves worth, and this doesn’t depend on how they compare to others. Life’s not a race!

You may also like: Things A Narcissist Does When You Enrage Them

16. Perfectionist tendencies

stressed man at work desk

Being a perfectionist can cause people to feel a tremendous amount of stress. Perfection doesn’t exist! That’s what people with high levels of self-esteem and self-worth know. Instead of chasing the impossible, they embrace their imperfections and failures, eager to learn from them so they can improve and grow.

Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!

Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.