10 Reasons To Live Together Before You Get Married

Old-fashioned advice often suggests that you should avoid “living in sin” with your boyfriend prior to marriage, but most people know that’s total bullsh*t. How else are you supposed to know whether you have true long-term compatibility if you don’t also know what it’s like to wake up to him every day and fall asleep next to him every night? Don’t wait until there’s a ring on your finger to move in with him or you might be sorry. Here’s why you have to live together before you get married.

  1. It gives you the full idea of what you’re signing up for. It never ceases to amaze me how much a person can hide from another person if they aren’t living together. You might find out that those cute little habits he has aren’t that cute, or that his idea of how a house should be run doesn’t mesh with yours. A lot of these little issues are no big deal, but there could be some major dealbreakers you’d be otherwise blissfully unaware of before saying “I do.”
  2. A divorce is a lot more expensive than moving out. Again, there are some issues that are major dealbreakers that often don’t come to light until you’re both under the same roof. You might not be able to predict them, either, and this can lead to you splitting up within the first couple of months. In other words, if things don’t pan out, you won’t have to worry about duking it out in court. This is one of the best arguments for deciding to live together before you get married.
  3. It’ll give you a realistic idea of what married life will be like. Many couples who get hitched without moving in together assume that a marriage will mean a perfectly idyllic happily ever after. The truth is, there’s not really a perfect life after marriage. Living together and seeing one another’s ups and downs helps you see the real picture, rather than an illusion.
  4. It’s cheaper to split bills, anyway. Living separately means you’re both paying higher rent, and you’re both likely paying more for food, phones, insurance, and even internet. If you’re both paying separate rents, why not just combine them and improve your quality of life? You’re planning to spend the rest of your lives together, so why not get started now?
  5. You’ll be able to get a better idea of how responsibilities will be shared. Because let’s just face it, finding out that you’re expected to do all the cooking, cleaning and breadwinning wouldn’t be cool.
  6. Living together is a test, but a fun one. Let’s just be honest. Living with anyone will test your boundaries and your relationship with that person. If you find you can’t live with one another, you definitely shouldn’t marry. Unlike other relationship tests, this one can be a fun one if you both put your minds to it.
  7. It makes having sex more convenient. Think about it. Since you’re living together, it’s not like you’d have to hail a cab, rent a room, or sneak around to do it. So, expect sex to be more frequent at the very least. Yes, this is perhaps one of the less important reasons to live together before getting hitched, but it’s still a valid one.
  8. Living together helps you learn to act like a team. When you live together, it’s not that easy to break up. There is a commitment there — and it’s one that may make you think twice about bailing when things don’t work out immediately. In other words, it’s a quick way to realize the importance of teamwork and the consequences of trying to do things unilaterally.
  9. It also encourages your friends to see you as a couple. When you live together, it’s impossible for friends to avoid seeing both of you when they drop by. This makes it easier for your future spouse to bond with your friends, and for you to bond with his.
  10. It’s proof of a commitment to you. Because let’s face it, a 10-year-long engagement doesn’t really say the same thing as real cohabitation. Living together means he’s ready to build a life with you, and isn’t that the whole point?
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a New Jersey based writer and editor with bylines in Mashed, Newsbreak, Good Men Project, YourTango, and many more. She’s also the author of a safe travel guide for LGBTQIA+ people available on Amazon.

She regularly writes on her popular Medium page and posts on TikTok and Instagram @ossianamakescontent.