10 Signs He’s Not The Marrying Kind

Even if the guy you’re dating says he wants to get married “one day,” if he’s showing you any of these signs, you should tread carefully because the evidence points to him not being interested in being anyone’s husband (and even if he was, he probably wouldn’t be very good at it).

  1. He isn’t a family guy. When you say you want to introduce him to your folks and he says he’s “not really a family guy,” that doesn’t just mean he doesn’t want to hang with other people’s families. It could also mean that he doesn’t want a family of his own, which means he might not want to settle down. It’s a red flag because someone who really loves you will want to be involved with the rest of your life.
  2. He’s in a bachelor state of mind. If he behaves like a much younger guy by partying all weekend with his mates or expecting his mom to do his laundry even though he’s 25, that’s not really the behavior of someone who can man up and be a married guy.
  3. He won’t commit to anything. He loves playing with your cats when he visits you, but he won’t get a pet of his own and the reason why is because he avoids commitment. “They’re too much to care for,” he might say, or “I just don’t have time for them.” Pets aside, if you notice that he’ll avoid anything long-term, whether that involves taking out a personal loan or even owning a house plant, that’s not a good sign that he’s someone who would want to get married.
  4. He’s an “i” man. He’s always talking about himself and doing what he wants. If that’s the person you’re dealing with, then he’s clearly selfish and not someone who would be open to compromise.
  5. He’s not in your loved ones’ good books. While he might be really nice, maybe your loved ones just don’t like him. If that’s the general consensus, there are probably good reasons for that. Stop and listen because if you don’t, you could end up stuck between angry loved ones and a pissed off partner. That’s no way to spend eternity, although the good news is that your partner makes such a bad impression on those around him that he won’t even want to commit. Sorry, not sorry.
  6. He’s a “should” guy. He always says things like, “I should invite you over to meet my BFFs” or “I should get my act together and buy a home,” but he never actually seems to do what he says he should do. You’re dealing with someone who will claim to have the best intentions but never make anything materialize from them.
  7. He can’t handle you on a bad day. If the guy walks out the room when you burst into tears,or he calls you nuts when you express your anger about something, just think of how much it would suck to be with someone like this in the long-term. He’s clearly immature, only wanting to be around for the good days.
  8. He has zero ambition. He doesn’t have to dominate the world and become famous, but he should at least take pride in what he does with his life and want to strive to be better, like in his career, for example. While it doesn’t matter how much money he earns, you want to be with someone who’s responsible, can hold down a job, and has goals. Basically, if he can’t even get his act together, how would he be able to strive for more in his personal relationships?
  9. He refuses to fight. You’ve seen in the past how he’d be angry or upset but would bottle up his emotions. It’s been months of dating and he still hasn’t had a fight with you. Yikes. He actively tries to avoid it at all costs. This is tricky because it means that you can’t express your true feelings to each other, and you don’t really work through issues that are worrying you. How would this work in a marriage? It wouldn’t.
  10. He backtracks in the relationship. He tells you he really likes you but he’s not really looking for anything committed “right now” although he hints that that will change in the future. Really? A guy who sees a real future with you and would want to marry you isn’t going to make you suffer through the relationship or take two steps forward only to keep taking one back. He’s never going to come around, so get out before you give too much of yourself. He’s not worth marrying.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.