It’s hard to hear that the guy you’re so into just isn’t that interested, but it’s better to know before you waste any more time and energy on someone who’s preventing you from being with the right guy. Here are signs you might be ignoring that should give you your marching orders:
You ask him questions but he never really reciprocates.
You love hearing about his work, family, problems, friends and so on. In fact, you’re sure it’s a good sign he talks to you so much. Well, sure, but not so much if he never asks you anything about yourself or if he seems more interested in himself. If he’s interested in you, he’ll want to know everything about you. Period.
You initiate lots of contact.
If you don’t hear from the guy for a day or two, you panic that he’s not going to get in touch so you fire off a text just to check in. Doing that a lot lately? It’s not a good sign. Stop making contact and see what he does. If he can go for days without even seeing how you are, he clearly isn’t missing you. You shouldn’t bother with him.
He sends constant mixed messages.
One minute you feel like he’s into you and the next it feels like he couldn’t care less. You might label this as him giving you mixed messages, but let’s get real: there are no mixed messages. The guy is not as into you as you’re into him. If he was, his behavior would be clear and consistent.
He says he’s not a romantic guy.
Maybe he’s told you that he’s not into romance or he just doesn’t do romantic things, which explains away all those non-romantic dates you’ve had. But this is really just code for “I’m not keen on being romantic with you.” Sorry but any guy who is interested in a woman will try to make her feel special, even in little ways such as bringing her flowers or ordering her favorite dessert. You deserve romance so don’t settle for someone who isn’t keen on it every now and then.
He hasn’t introduced you to anyone in his life.
If it’s been weeks of dating and you still haven’t met anyone in his world, he’s basically saying he doesn’t want you to be known. He’d rather keep you as a secret. Maybe he doesn’t want people to think that you’re an official couple or he’s not into relationships, or he doesn’t want to commit so he can keep his options open. Whatever the reason, there’s clearly no good reason for why he’s keeping you at arm’s length.
You never see him without having sex.
Every time you see the guy, you end up in bed together. Don’t be fooled into thinking that this is a sign he can’t keep his hands off you because it really means he doesn’t dig you enough to just chill, chat and do other fun things. Some people are capable of having sex with people they don’t even like, but they’d rather endure root canal than spend all day just chatting to them. Think about that.
It’s been weeks and he’s still ‘mysterious.’
Perhaps his mystery was one of the qualities that initially drew you to him, but if you’ve been seeing each other for a while and you still don’t know anything about him, this is a problem. What’s he hiding? You might try to tell yourself he’s just got walls built around him, but no guy is going to be that closed up from a woman if he’s really into her. It’s not possible to have a real connection or relationship if you’re not opening up to each other.
Dates feel like going to the gym.
After dates with the guy, you always feel like you give more of yourself than he does. In fact, it’s like a workout because you make such an effort to keep the conversation fun, try to be funny and smart, and come up with cool date ideas… Dating shouldn’t be one-sided or such hard work. If he’s not really meeting you halfway by making an effort, it could be because you’re dragging him along.
He’s physically present but his mind is elsewhere.
Every time you’re with the guy he’s not really focused on you or he spends a lot of time on his phone even though he never answers your texts promptly. You probably wonder what the hell is wrong with him. He could just be hanging out with you ’cause it’s convenient. He gets your attention and maybe even sex without having to make an effort or commitment. Instead of waiting for him to unplug from his devices, unplug him from your life.
Your gut is telling you to move on.
You can’t ignore your gut because most of the time it’s right on the money. If he shows you that he’s into you but you just feel something’s missing or you can’t turn a blind eye to the signs that he’s not going to become your BF, such as if he doesn’t have much time for you, you should follow your feeling. Although you might feel down that he’s not into you, you should actually flip the situation around and view it as him not being enough for what you need. That’s what’s really going on, so go find someone who is.