It’s not an exaggeration that common decency and dating don’t seem to work all that well together. It’s pretty sad that no matter how many dates we go on, we’re usually disappointed and have to go back to the drawing board. We’re not actually asking for that much — here are 10 simple things men need to do if they don’t want to be total jerks:
- Text us back. It’s not rocket science. You have an iPhone and you’re just as addicted to it as everyone else. You obviously see our text messages, so you might as well just quit playing games and actually text us back.
- Take an interest in our lives. We listen to you complain about your boss or your morning subway commute, and we go with you to boring action movies. We even watch The Walking Dead because it’s your favorite show, even though it gives us nightmares. So it wouldn’t kill you to be interested in our lives, would it? It’s only fair. Ask us questions and actually listen to the answers.
- Respect our interests. You may think it’s silly that we love reality TV or gossiping over brunch with our friends, but that’s not really up to you to decide. It would be awesome if you could keep quiet and just support whatever we want to do.
- Give us a real chance. Get us know us before you jump to conclusions and figure things won’t work out. We just might be the love of your entire life.
- Stop rushing things then blaming us. It sucks that we often get blamed for breakups (almost relationship or otherwise) when it’s usually not even our fault. If you want to be considered a good guy, then stop moving up the relationship at warp-speed — texting us every five seconds, wanting to hang out every single night, putting hopes and plans for the future in our heads — and then bailing on us. Stop claiming you don’t really want a girlfriend after all, because guess what? You sure acted like it.
- Stop assuming we’re all the same. Sometimes guys are out the door because they think we want to be too serious too fast. We’ve probably done nothing to put those ideas in your head, so you should probably ask us before you leave. Stop lumping us all in together and acting like if you’ve dated one woman, you know what every woman is thinking and feeling.
- Tell us how you feel. This is simple and yet seems impossible for most people. If you’re mad at us, tell us. We’d rather hear about it than get the silent treatment. If you care about us but need a certain amount of alone time or space, that’s cool — we probably want that, too.
- Make us feel important. It’s way easier than you think. Don’t cancel plans, suggest fun ways for us to spend time together, and say sweet (and genuine) things to us on a regular basis.
- Mean what you say. If you say things are going well, then don’t turn around and dump us. Stand behind your words and emotions and promises and things should work out fine.
- Stop with the ghosting already. It’s lame and pathetic and just seriously uncool. You hate when we ignore you, so don’t do the same to us. We’re grown-ups, we can handle it if you’re not into us.
