If you think your boyfriend is playing games with you, he probably is. Most guys use hidden techniques to figure out what if you’ll be a doormat or if you’ll make him work for your affection. Here are the 10 surprising ways your guy is probably testing you to determine what kind of partner you’ll be.
The “let’s chill” tactic
Early on, a guy needs to know how much effort it’ll take to get what he wants. Sure, he’s probably really interested in spending time with you and getting to know you, but let’s face it, sex is also a very important component of any good relationship. If he can get the goods without splurging on expensive meals and vacations, then that’s exactly what he’ll do. The offer to “chill” (at his place or yours) will only cost him less than a quarter tank of gas and a box of condoms, and once you get into the habit of having “dates” behind closed doors with him, don’t expect him to all of a sudden turn a new leaf and want to take you out for a fancy meal. It’s up to you to set the tone and the flow of the relationship by declining any offers to chill until your relationship is much more established.
Leaving you on read
At some point, he’s going to really push your buttons. Why? Because he wants to see how you act when you don’t get your way. Most guys are deathly afraid of losing their freedom, so they want someone in their lives who will play a prominent role without stripping them of all the things they like (i.e. beer, time with friends, and video games). If you’ve been texting and calling your boyfriend and your calls and messages are left unanswered, don’t throw yourself into a tizzy. He’s definitely just testing you to see if you’ll keep blowing up his phone and beg him to pay attention to you or if you’ll remain cool, calm, and collected. When he does call you back (because he will, of course), don’t be so quick to answer the phone. Instead, ring him back a day or two later and tell him how insanely busy your life has been and how you didn’t even notice the two of you hadn’t chatted for a few days. Your reaction will definitely throw him for a loop and make him realize you’re not going to be the needy and clingy type.
Playing hot and cold
Some guys go hot and cold on purpose, while others are so emotionally screwed up that they don’t even realize what they’re doing. Regardless of your boyfriend’s reason for being sweet one day and blowing you off the next, it’s one of the many games that’s always thrown into the mix when it comes to dating and relationships. When he goes cold, do you go chasing after him? Do you reach out to him first and ask him what’s wrong? If you ignore the times he puts some distance between the two of you, he’ll soon realize you’re not desperate for his attention. Keep yourself busy and have a fun and active life without him and soon enough, he’ll ditch the hot and cold game once and for all.
Talking about other women
He might tell you about some of his platonic friends of the opposite sex or he might make a comment about a celebrity he finds really hot. Obviously, he’s going to be attracted to other people, but the real reason he brings up other women when he’s in your presence is to see how you respond. Will you tell him he has to ditch all of his opposite sex friends if he wants to be in a relationship with you? Do you get super jealous when he makes a comment about how hot he thinks Jennifer Lawrence is? He’s going to judge your reaction during each interaction and as usual, your job is to let everything roll off your shoulders.
Questioning your loyalty
Don’t be surprised if you catch him snooping through your social media accounts or glancing at your phone the second it starts ringing to see who’s calling you. Your boyfriend wants loyalty and someone who’s going to be there for him no matter what, so he’s not going to put his all into the relationship until he has determined you have eyes for him and only him. If you have a fan club of suitors who are constantly calling, texting, and leaving flirty comments on your Instagram account, it might really turn him off.
The check debate
Most guys are accustomed to picking up the tab when they take their girlfriend out on a date, but that doesn’t mean they won’t test you when the check comes. If you notice your boyfriend lets the bill linger on the table for a long period of time, he could be putting you to the test! He doesn’t expect you to pay the bill but he wants to see if you’ll at least offer.
Making last-minute plans
A surprise date here and there can be fun and exciting, but your boyfriend might be dropping last-minute plans on your lap just to see if you’ll accept the offer. If you’re constantly available at the drop of a dime, he’ll soon wonder why you don’t have a life and if your entire existence revolves around him. So what’s the solution? Stay busy and don’t always accept his spur of the moment plans. This will let him know you have things going on that don’t involve him, which is something most guys really dig.
The late-night call
An offer to chill together during the evening isn’t the only game your boyfriend may be running. He might also attempt to call you late at night to see if you’ll agree to some after-hours nookie. Accepting this type of invitation can quickly turn your relationship into a booty call situation. Putting your phone on silent after 10 p.m. will nip his tactic in the bud. Your boyfriend will soon realize if he wants to spend quality time with you, he’ll need to do so during normal hours.
This is a form of emotional manipulation where your boyfriend may give you offhand compliments that slowly chip away at your self-esteem. You can tell if he’s negging you if he says something along the lines of, “That’s a nice shirt, but red really isn’t your color.” If your boyfriend’s negging you, you should probably dump him right away. But if you think he’s a relatively good guy and you want the relationship to work out, it’s time to stand up to him and tell him you won’t tolerate his BS manipulation tactic.
Constantly talking about sex
If all he wants is some easy access to sex, he’ll start talking about his favorite positions and what he likes and doesn’t like in the bedroom right away. If you engage in this type of conversation, you’re basically opening up the door for a purely sexual relationship. You could try to steer the conversation to less risqué topics or you could dump the horny a-hole and find a guy who wants to build a real relationship with you.
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