10 Text Messages You Should Never Send A Guy

There’s a big difference between being cute and clingy. If you’re just starting to text with a guy, you should obviously be yourself. However, there are a few texts that shouldn’t be sent. Stop yourself if you’ve ever thought about sending texts like this – trust me, you’ll be grateful you never did.

  1. “Do you even like me?” The truth is, it’s possible he doesn’t even know yet. Trying to immediately ask someone about their feelings can also make it look like you’re fishing for compliments. Real emotion is more obvious in person. You can tell a lot about a guy based on the way he looks and acts around you. So if his text game isn’t quite as strong, cut him some slack. You’ll be able to figure out his true feelings soon without openly asking him like this.
  2. “You’re not off with your ex, right?”  Nobody likes a cheater, but if you immediately try to classify this guy as one with no actual evidence, you’re proving to him that you’re insecure. Don’t start this relationship off with accusations. If you truly think he’s cheating and have proof, just cut him loose — it won’t get better from here.
  3. “Whatever.” This word comes off as being a bit condescending and childish if not sandwiched within an actual sentence. Try not to be passive-aggressive in your texts. A text like this sounds like you’re mad or frustrated. Texts should be clear, otherwise unnecessary fights might start up.
  4. “Why don’t you ever clean up?” This is a text that many of us have felt like we needed to send to our cohabitating partner. But, the way it’s worded is meant to hurt feelings. Stop accusing your partner of things. It’s possible they’ve prioritized house chores differently than you. Instead, frame it more as “can you clean up the kitchen today?” Or, “I’ll tackle the bedrooms if you can clean the bathrooms.” Be clear about what you want, and your response back will be much friendlier.
  5. “My ex would have done this for me.” There’s a reason why your ex is your ex. Threatening to get back together in this matter is weirdly controlling, and should never happen. Every person you meet is different. By trying to compare, you’re setting yourself up for this guy to break up with you. Not only will he think you’re not over your past relationship, but he’ll think you’re a little too high maintenance.
  6. “Your friends are annoying.” Maybe they are, but that’s not your issue to deal with. If he’s making bad choices based on his friends, that’s one thing — and, maybe a solid reason for a split. But if you’re mad that he’s spending time with them over you, that’s something completely different. It’s nice if you get along with his friends, but you don’t have to. If they bring him joy, that’s something you shouldn’t meddle with.
  7. “Do you think I’m pretty?” Once again, this is begging for compliments. He obviously finds you attractive in some way. If you find yourself texting this a lot, maybe you should work on yourself a little bit. Learn to love who you are, and feel comfortable in your body. After all, the most attractive people are confident.
  8. “K.” This may be okay in relationships that have lasted quite a bit. You’re used to each other and your texting languages, so you’ll know off the bat if the sender meant to be snarky. With a newer relationship, it’s harder. Again, a simple letter seems somewhat aggressive. If this is really your texting style, at least follow it up with a happy emoji so that he knows you’re not being sarcastic.
  9. “We need to talk.” You may need to talk, but those talks should be done in person. Leaving something so open-ended will likely make him freak out, especially if the thing you want to talk about is “the laundry” and not “breaking up.” Try to be as clear and open as possible. Never try to scare him into thinking you want to break up when you don’t. If you really need to sit down and talk with someone about what’s going on, find a time when you’re at least in the same room together.
  10. “When are you gonna put a ring on it?” You never want to pressure someone to propose. It’s possible they just aren’t ready. And, that’s something they need to be honest about. If you dream of a wedding and they would rather have a partnership, it may not be such a good match after all. Any marriage that started with an ultimatum is doomed to fail. Instead of a text like this, pull your partner aside, and talk about your timeline. See if your future goals align.
Karen Belz is a New Jersey native who is currently living in Maryland. She has a Bachelor’s Degree in Speech Communication with a focus in Broadcasting and Print Media Studies from Millersville University of Pennsylvania. Since graduating, she has written for sites like LittleThings, HelloGiggles, and Scary Mommy and is currently an e-commerce editor at Bustle.

When she's not writing, she enjoys making her phone run out of memory after taking too many photos of her dog. You can find her on Twitter @karenebelz or on Instagram @karenbelz.