If Any Of These 10 Things Apply To You, You Should Re-Evaluate How You Date

Dating sucks for everyone, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a life-ruiner. If you find yourself getting hung up on your bad dates or obsessed with your lack of prospects, it might be time to take a step back, take a deep breath, and get a grip. Here are 10 signs you just might need a dating reality check:

  1. You have unrealistic expectations. Your expectations are so off-base that they’re not just high, they’re completely unrealistic. If you think that you’re going to marry every guy you go on a first date with, that’s kind of nuts… and if you think that every first date is going should be a success and get disheartened when it isn’t, that might be even crazier. These things take time, and you have to go on more bad dates than good ones. It’s like a law of dating.
  2. You give every guy the benefit of the doubt. There are some good guys out there who act like idiots on the first date because they’re nervous or just a bit awkward, and then there are jerks who are just, well, jerks. It can be tough to tell the difference, but if you give every guy the benefit of the doubt because you never want to see the worst in people, that could be causing you more harm than good. Some guys are just jerks. The sooner you realize that, the better.
  3. You don’t think you go on bad dates because they’ve become so normal. When your BFFs ask you to swap crappy date stories when you grab drinks, you always shrug, acting like you have nothing to say. After all, you don’t go on bad dates. You meet nice guys — they’re just not right for you. While this is a super mature and positive approach to take, it’s actually BS. You definitely go on bad dates — everyone does.
  4. You expect love to come into your life right now. If you’re refusing to believe that love takes time and that it actually has zero chance of happening ASAP, then you definitely need a reality check. Think about the time frame of a first date that goes well: you go out on a Friday night and maybe you go out the following Friday. That’s a week right there. If you keep seeing each other, it’s going to be several weeks or even months before you define things and decide to be official. There’s no point rushing love… which is good, since you couldn’t even if you tried.
  5. You expect dating to be easy. Nothing in life is simple. Getting to this place in your career wasn’t easy, was it? So why would finding someone to love and spend your life with be simple? Exactly. It’s not going to be. There’s no point getting so upset at the small roadblocks and obstacles in your way.
  6. You get super invested way too soon. The law of first dates is that you can’t have any expectations. If you think that things are going to go well, you’re only going to be disappointed. If you’re still getting super invested in the guys you’re going out with before you’ve even met them or before you know what the deal is, you’re being super naive and innocent, and it’s not a good look.
  7. You sweat the small stuff. Dating is a long road, and you’re going to deal with a lot of crap on your journey. If you’re worried about what you wrote in your Tinder bio or wonder why enough guys don’t message you, you’re doing it wrong. Keep your end goal in mind and keep going.
  8. You never make the first move. Sometimes dating seems like a game, so why not do your best to win? If you never make the first move, you need a reality check, and fast. There’s nothing wrong with being brave and giving this your best shot. Sure, traditionally guys are the ones who make the first move, but that doesn’t mean that’s the way that things are today. Tons of women make the first move. Why not you?
  9. You date just to date. If you’re going on dates simply to say that you have gone on them, that’s a problem. You should think carefully about what kind of guy you actually want to go out with. Dating may be a numbers game, but that doesn’t mean you have to fill up your calendar with dates just because.
  10. You’re miserable being single. There’s nothing wrong with hating being solo every once in a while, just like there’s nothing wrong with actually being on your own. But the thing is that you might be single for a lot longer than you expected or even wanted to be. So you might as well get used to it and try to enjoy your life in the meantime. You don’t want to think that your life will be better when you meet the right guy. You should make your life better right here, right now.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.