10 Things You Should Discuss With Your Girlfriends, Not Your Boyfriend

10 Things You Should Discuss With Your Girlfriends, Not Your Boyfriend ©iStock/Geber86

When you’re intimate with someone, you feel like you can tell him everything – but that doesn’t mean that you should. While you can share almost everything with your partner, there are a few topics that should be reserved strictly for your girlfriends. These subjects can be annoying to the male mind and even harmful to your relationship. Besides, every relationship needs to maintain a certain amount of mystery to be sustainable. If you get the urge to discuss any of these topics, text your bestie. It may save your relationship and you can thank her for being your pal and confidant.

  1. Your latest frenemy. Save the drama for your mama, your best friend, the cashier at CVS or pretty much anyone other than your boyfriend. Guys don’t understand catty girl drama and while he may smile and nod on the outside, on the inside he’ll be wondering if you’re speaking to others this way about him. Gossiping about your latest friend turned foe – regardless of how legitimate your feelings are – will never paint you in a good light in his mind.
  2. Your thoughts on any reality show. There’s a switch that immediately goes off in a man’s mind when you mention the words “Housewives”, “Bachelor” or “Dance Moms.” Even though they’re (hopefully) your guilty pleasure and not your main source of entertainment, guys tend to think that girls that gab about reality shows are shallow and immature. You don’t know these people and never will, so guys don’t understand how you can be so invested in their lives – especially now that we know reality shows aren’t all so real. These discussions are best saved for margarita night with your bestie when you can talk about Teresa Giudice’s prison pictures without feeling the glaring eyes of your BF.
  3. Your weight. Once you mention your weight to your BF, you’ve put him in a lose-lose situation. If he comments or agrees with you, he’s a jerk. If he doesn’t, you’re both uncomfortable. First of all, your boyfriend is already sexually attracted to you. Secondly, guys don’t notice when you chop off six inches of your hair – do you really think he will notice if you gain two pounds when you splurge on vacation? To a man, the sexiest thing a woman can have is confidence. It can be a major buzzkill if you’re having a conniption over something that isn’t even noticeable to him. If you want to lose 2lbs, call your BFF and make her your gym buddy. Your BF will inadvertently help you work off a few extra calories with some indoor sports and not awkward conversations.
  4. Any sexual experience that wasn’t with your current BF. There’s no good that can come from discussing your past romantic rendez-vous with your current guy. No guy that cares about you wants to hear about your experiences with other men. While he’s aware that you’re probably not a virgin, he doesn’t need to hear the nitty gritty details about how your ex did this, that or the other. Even if you’re telling him he’s better at something than your ex, you run the risk of him having an irreplaceable a mental image of you and another man, which is a total turn off. You can reminisce with your bestie, who probably remembers hearing about it when you were actually with your ex.
  5. Your beauty regimen. While your boyfriend appreciates the time and effort you put into maintenance, he doesn’t care about the name of your new nail polish color. You know who will and who will immediately Amazon Prime it so you can match? Your bestie. Girly things are girly because girls care about them. You wouldn’t want him to go on a tangent about golf and IPAs for a half hour, would you?
  6. Your period. You don’t really even need to talk to your best friend or anyone other than your OBGYN about your cycle. Periods are personal and if even girls don’t want to hear about their friends’ periods, you can bet that your boyfriend will want to throw a pair of noise canceling headphones on if you bring it up with him.
  7. Your biological clock. Discussing whether you and your boyfriend share the same desire to have children is one thing. Dropping hints that your biological clock is tick, tick, ticking, on the other hand, is a faux pas. Giving him a time constraint could cause him to have performance anxiety or lessen his sexual desire towards you if he feels like you only want him for his goods. Your BFF will be happy to lend you an ear and can empathize with you because she knows your struggle is real.
  8. Your wedding plans (when you’re not engaged). You may have started planning your wedding when you were ten years old but you shouldn’t share those wedding plans with your significant other until he’s put a ring on it. It could make you look desperate or could make him feel like you don’t mind inserting any man in the groom slot. Share your dream wedding Pinterest board with your bestie instead.
  9. Celeb romances. Your boyfriend cares about one relationship and one relationship only: yours. He doesn’t pay attention to tabloids in the checkout line at the supermarket or pine after the perfection that seemed to be Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston and wondering if Chris Martin and Jennifer Lawrence will ever make their relationship official never consumes his thoughts. Gossip blogs are better for bestie bonding time.
  10. Money. Money = mood killer. Unless you’re engaged or merging finances to cohabitate, do NOT talk about money or your lack thereof. If you make more than he does, you run the risk of unintentionally emasculating him by reminding him that you’re in a better financial situation. If you earn less than he does, he could interpret that as you always expecting him to pay for you, which he most likely wouldn’t have a problem doing, but when you continually discuss it he can feel like your sugar daddy more than your partner. If you need to discuss your financial successes or woes, happy hour with your best friend is a much better forum for it.
Abby Stern grew up in New Orleans and is now an actress, screenwriter, and blogger (who isn't?) trying to keep it real in Los Angeles. She also writes for FabFitFun and contributes to various blogs detailing her unique perspective on dating and twenty-something life in Hollywood. Gwyneth Paltrow is her spirit animal and in her free time, Abby enjoys Bellinis and plotting to steal unattended Birkin bags. Follow her on Twitter: @abbystern