Men always want us to tell them what we want, but sometimes it’s the fact that we don’t have to ask that makes something special. He just does them because he’s a genuinely nice guy who cares about you. If your boyfriend does the things on this list, don’t let him go – he’s a keeper. After all, the secret to winning over a woman really is reading her mind… or just being a decent person who thinks about others.
- He happily offers to help. I know some men are terrified of offering to help because some feminists go nuts and tell them they don’t need a man to help them, but really that’s a stereotype that doesn’t often happen outside of the movies. I’m thrilled when my man offers to help me carry something heavy or help me clean up after dinner. It shows he wants to do things with me.
- He asks for your help. A man that isn’t afraid to ask for help is one of the sexiest things ever. For instance, instead of driving around in circles, he asks you to check your phone for directions. Maybe he needs your help putting together that new entertainment center. Either way, you don’t have to offer to help. He asks you.
- He’s the best and sexiest nurse ever. Okay, so maybe a man that isn’t afraid to take care of you when you’re at your worst is actually the sexiest. Some guys avoid a sick woman at all costs, but a great guy offers to come over and bring you chicken noodle soup, fluff your pillows and do whatever else you need. Sweet, right?
- He compliments you without any hints. While he’s probably not going to notice if your nail polish changed from red to bright red, he might compliment a new skirt you bought or that new thing you’re doing with your hair. The best part? You didn’t have to give him any hints – he actually noticed and liked it.
- He texts/calls you first. Before you even get a chance to text him good morning, he’s already sent you one. He doesn’t have to wait for you to call or text first. He’s man enough to take charge and text or call whenever he feels like it, even if it makes him the first one to do it.
- He checks out the things you like. After hearing how excited you got over XYZ band, he buys tickets to a local show and goes with you. He offers to sit down with you and watch The Bachelor just because you like it. You don’t have to beg or ask him – he’s eager to check out the things you like.
- He plans for important events. Whether it’s a birthday, anniversary, or holiday, your boyfriend has it covered. While you’re expecting last-minute dinner plans on your birthday, he’s gathered your friends and family together at your favorite restaurant and even got that one-of-a-kind sweater you ogled three months ago.
- He gives you random gifts. Also known as flowers, candy, or other small tokens of his affection for absolutely no reason. Don’t panic – your boyfriend didn’t do anything wrong. It’s just one of those super sweet things a man does to win you over. Don’t expect anything expensive, but a cheaper gift just to say he cares is always appreciated.
- He wants to talk about the future. How many men have you dated that run away screaming if you mean the F-word? This makes you hesitate to even bring it up. It’s the guy that wants to talk about a future with you that really wins your heart.
- He’s giving in bed. When it comes to sex, it’s not all about his pleasure. It doesn’t matter what you do for him, he’s just eager to please you. It gets him off to hear you moan and scream. No more asking for oral, even after he’s had 10 BJs. He’s happy to give and you never have to ask.
- He takes on the chores you hate. If a man’s paying attention, he’ll quickly pick up on which household chores you hate doing. Maybe a trash bag busted on you so you avoid taking out the trash until it’s overflowing or your arms ache after pushing the lawnmower. Whatever it is, he notices and starts doing it for you.
- He asks about your day. Not only does he ask, but he actually listens. You don’t have to ambush your boyfriend during commercial breaks to talk about what your boss said to you. He asks and is genuinely interested in what you have to say.
- He shares his feelings. Okay, so it might be hard to find many guys that fit this one, but there are some out there. After all, it should be pretty obvious after years of women asking, “What are you thinking?” or, “How do you feel?” that we want men to share their feelings. Some smart men have figured this out and actually talk when something’s bothering them. Don’t take this for granted. It’s a rarity.
- He plans dates. When you’ve been together a while, you don’t really date anymore. You have to keep asking your boyfriend to take you out. Instead of asking, a man might try to win you over by planning random dates. It might even be something more creative than dinner and a movie.
- He cooks for you – especially breakfast. I’m always running short on time in the mornings, so it means the world to me to get done getting ready to see breakfast sitting on the table. Of course, any meal a man wants to take care of is wonderful.
- He actually enjoys cuddling. We’ve all had those guys that roll over and fall asleep right after. You have to actually ask them to cuddle for a few minutes. Imagine how much it’d melt your heart if a guy volunteered to cuddle and maybe even talk afterward. Yeah, it’s the dream and for some, that dream comes true.
- He makes an effort with your friends and family. Your friends and family members are a central part of your life, so it’s vital that any guy you date gets along with them and vice versa. If your boyfriend makes an effort to ensure he’s on good terms with them and even endears himself to them, you’re onto something good.
Why good boyfriends are so hard to find
One of the reasons it’s so important to nurture healthy, happy relationships is because they’re so rare. If you’re lucky enough to come across one, you’d be stupid to take it for granted and let it go. But while it’s great that your boyfriend is one of the good ones, why are great guys so hard to find?
- A lot of guys are intimidated by strong women. This is probably the most obvious reason that finding a good boyfriend is like locating a needle in a haystack. If you’re independent, outspoken, confident, and know what you want, there will sadly be a lot of guys that you “scare off” because they don’t know how to handle or match your energy. That’s not your problem or your fault, but it does make looking for love an even more frustrating experience.
- Many men are looking for replacement moms, not equal partners. How many guys have you dated who are looking for someone to take over the same responsibilities their mother held for many years of their lives? They want you to cook for them, clean for them, be subservient to them, coddle them, and jump to their every whim. However, you’re looking for a man, not a man-child, and you’re much better off alone than putting up with this crap.
- Hookup culture makes dating nearly impossible. Given the popularity of dating apps and the abundance of people using them, a quick lay is never further than a few swipes and clicks away. With sex easily on tap and without strings attached, many guys think they’re better off hooking up with as many women as possible than focusing their time and energy on one woman and eventually getting into a loving, happy relationship. Their loss!
- A lot of guys are commitmentphobes. This sort of ties into the point above. A lot of guys seem to have this misinformed idea that once they get into a relationship with a woman, that’s their lives over. They suddenly lose all their individuality and their freedom and suddenly become miserable robots with no semblance of a real personality or life anymore. This is stupid, but it’s a widely held belief that leads to a serious problem with commitment phobia.
- The good ones are often already taken. A cliche sentiment but a true one nevertheless. With good guys in short supply, it’s no wonder women grab them up as quickly as possible. They understand they’ve found a unicorn and they’re not willing to let them go. Hopefully you feel the same way about your guy and never take him for granted.
- You’re waiting for Mr. Perfect. Of course, there’s a very real possibility that it’s not all men’s fault that we don’t think they’re any good. Many of us are guilty of holding an ideal in our heads that can be extremely unrealistic and unsustainable. You don’t need a guy who’s perfect (because he doesn’t exist anyway). All you need is one who’s honest, trustworthy, and who cares about you. Beyond that, the little still is negotiable, right?
While the small gestures are the ones that mean the most, so many guys skip out on them. If your boyfriend takes the time and makes the effort to make your days a little brighter, he’s worth keeping around for the long haul.