I’ve been single for what feels like forever. It can be tiring to roll solo for so long and I can really get in my head about how something’s wrong with me when that’s just not true. So, to distract myself from the annoying thoughts in my head about how single I am, I do these 10 things:
I pursue my interests and always look for new ones. When people are in relationships, they have to give a chunk of their time to their lover, leaving less time to do the things they care about. I get to keep myself busy when I’m single by spending time doing all the things I love most. This keeps my attention on interests like hockey and writing rather than wallowing over the fact that I’m single AF.
I spend tons of time with my best friends. My friends are my saviors from myself. Getting a coffee with someone when I’m feeling down in the dumps is some of the best medicine around. I try to make lots of plans with friends during the week so that I’m never too alone. Their company helps keep my mind off of the romantic company I don’t have.
I throw some pretty awesome parties. A great way to get my friends together is to throw a party. My favorite kind to throw is a party for no reason at all. I’ll just host a potluck for an excuse to have some of my favorite people all in a room together. Hosting a get-together is sure to lift my spirits and it’s a definite distraction from how single I am because all I can feel is so much love.
I take myself to the movies. Okay, admittedly I did this once… but it was totally awesome! I was having a day where I didn’t know what to do and I was starting to feel self-pitying. I considered going to the movies alone, but it wasn’t until a friend suggested that same thing that I followed through. It ended up being totally liberating and a lot of fun. I went to see a kid’s movie and enjoyed my own company.
I chat with people on dating apps. This one isn’t always the best idea, but it’s one way to stay busy. Sometimes I get more upset and reminded that I’m single, but other times I have fun and catch a little hope that I may not always be single. It can be enjoyable to chat with people on dating apps, as long as they aren’t total creeps.
I flirt with people. I’m a good looking gal, so I get hit on once in a while. Sometimes I want to return the attention and flirt with someone. I wouldn’t do this if I was in a relationship so it’s a way to celebrate my singlehood. Sometimes this flirting leads somewhere, but most of the time it’s just fun. Either way, I get to do it because I don’t have to worry about a partner at home. It’s just me.
I masturbate. I’d be amiss if I didn’t talk about a girl’s best friend: my vibrator. On those lonely nights where I’m wishing I had another warm body, I take out my purple friend and go to it. It’s a great way to keep my needs met while also making sure I don’t make any rash moves out of my sex drive flaring up. I wouldn’t want to sleep with someone I’d later regret. My vibrator truly has no strings attached.
I wear sweats when I want. Especially in the early stages of dating someone, I’m constantly trying to look my best. Though when I’m single without a care in the world around dating, I wear whatever the heck I want. This means sometimes (okay, often) I show up places in sweatpants without makeup on. I do this whenever I want to and try not to feel weird or bad about it. There can be a feeling of freedom when doing this.
I give myself plenty of rest. Honestly, I hate the whole “work hard, play hard” thing. I’m a human being, not a human doing and I need time to just chill the heck out. So, I let myself relax. I even carve out time for it. I kick it with some Netflix and I tune out the voices in my head that remind me that I’m alone. Screw those voices.
I take time to reflect. As important as slowing down, reflection is a necessary part of life. If I avoid it, I can have emotional stuff pile up then explode on me. I need to take time to reflect on where I’m at, how I’m feeling, and where I’d like to go. Formal writing exercises are fun for this because they offer structure. Though regardless of how I write, it’s another thing to do that keeps me from wallowing about being single.
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