Do you keep finding yourself sending guys running? Much of this could be down to their own issues, but it’s also possible that a large degree of it is also something you’re doing. There are certain behaviors that are sure to scare off any dude—here are just a few of them.
- Bragging You may have the best of intentions in telling him all about a recent accomplishment, but there’s a fine line between storytelling and bragging. It’s easy to cross the line if you tend towards having a bit of an arrogant attitude. Save yourself the trouble by not trying to impress him too much. It’s only scaring him away. Being confident is a good thing, arrogance isn’t.
- Constant negativity No one likes a Negative Nancy—someone who’s constantly complaining and has something bad to say about everything is a drag. Being negative may also manifest itself in you disliking many foods, activities, and conversation topics. There’s just a cloud of negativity on your head and it’s raining all over the dude you’re interested in. He’s not going to hang around with that sour attitude.
- Being clingy It’s a fine line between being caring and being clingy. Asking your partner a million questions, expecting him to hang out all of the time, and trying to butt into his personal life are all ways you’re crossing that line. Be careful not to do any of this or you’ll definitely scare him away. That doesn’t mean you can’t or shouldn’t show interest, but don’t make him your whole life. Ironically, you need to keep a loose grip in order to have him stick around.
- Moving too fast Guys are seldom upset about moving too quickly physically but they definitely can be upset about emotionally ramping things up at high speed. Maybe you’re talking about the future or already mentioning commitment on the second date. This is definitely going to be a guy-repellant, making him run in the other direction. Instead, slow it down and try to move at a reasonable pace.
- Insecurity One icky way that insecurity manifests itself is in constantly fishing for compliments. It’s being so uncomfortable in your skin that you need to continuously seek validation. This is wildly off-putting to guys. They want a woman who’s confident in her own skin. If you’re lacking in the confidence department, work on that outside by yourself. No man wants to try to fix you (and nor should he).
- Being argumentative It’s definitely important to have your own views and opinions, don’t get me wrong. It’s even great to voice these things. However, it’s a whole different thing when you constantly have something to argue with your dude about. No one wants to be with someone who’s unable to see another person’s side and who’s always going to jump to arguing.
- Oversharing. It’s totally okay to share what’s important with someone, but there are certain things you should just keep to yourself for awhile. For example, the first date isn’t the time to talk all about a recent illness or a family issue. It’s good to keep it light-hearted when you’re just getting to know someone. Oversharing can really just make things awkward for all involved.
- Gossiping Who at all likes a gossip? If you’re constantly talking about what Sally did or didn’t do and what Barbara said to Sheila, your dude’s going to be donezo. It’s so important to talk about substantial things rather than blabbing about other people’s lives. Talk about your own experiences, current events, anything but gossip!
- Playing games This one’s a given, but you may think that it’s not a bad idea. Sometimes there’s the idea that playing games and following certain rules will attract a guy. There was even a book published called “The Rules” that tells women all about what to do and what not to do to capture the right man. I have to say that this is all total BS. Just follow your heart and do what feels right. Don’t listen to some arbitrary rulebook to play games.
- Blabbing on and on about exes It’s fine if you bring up an ex if it’s relevant and necessary to a story, but if you find yourself constantly talking about your exes and past relationships, you’re definitely going to scare him away. Exes belong in the past and don’t need to constantly be brought up. If you do this, it’s sending the message that you aren’t over your past. If this isn’t true, I suggest sticking to talking about your current life.
- Being too available It’s really important to make space in your life for your new flame but don’t blow your schedule wide open for him. Be sure not to skip out on your regular commitments either. A guy is going to be totally turned off if you always have time to hang out without any snags in your schedule. He wants someone who also has a life of her own, so be sure to keep a balance.
