When you’re in a relationship, it’s normal to expect certain things from your partner—you have desires and needs that should be met in order for you to be happy and fulfilled, after all. However, sometimes expecting too much can cause all sorts of problems in your relationship. If you really want to have a healthy relationship, you should never expect these 11 things from your partner:
That they’ll change for you
There’s literally no one in this world who loves everything about their partner. There will always be something about your partner that you don’t like. Sure, it’s not uncommon for people to change for the person they love, but you should never expect them to actively change for you. That decision is for them to make. Besides, you knew what you signed up for when you started dating. Plus, you likely have traits your partner doesn’t like and you wouldn’t feel right changing for them.
That they’ll apologize no matter who was wrong
Millenial women are independent and proud—we don’t really like apologizing during a fight, whether we admit it or not. Even when deep down we know it’s our fault, we still expect our partner to apologize to us and promise to make up for whatever it is that they did wrong. But just like you, your partner probably doesn’t like apologizing either, especially if it’s obviously your fault. Own up to your mistakes and your partner will try to understand you and comfort you instead of continuing to fight.
That they’ll shower you with gifts and support you financially
Your partner isn’t a limitless credit card. Just like you, they’re working their ass off to be able to live a comfortable life. How would you react if your roles were switched and you had to shower them with gifts, all while struggling to make ends meet? If you keep doing this, they’re eventually going to think this is what you keep them around for and they’ll start losing interest in you.
That they’ll do cute or romantic things for you
Practically everyone wants their partner to do romantic stuff for them. Unfortunately, most guys don’t care for romance and don’t see its value. Just because you see a man giving his partner a bouquet of flowers in a chick flick doesn’t mean yours has to do the same. Men show their love in more subtle ways, like rubbing your back when it’s sore or making you something delicious to eat. Learn to appreciate these little things.
That they’ll choose you over everything else
Your partner isn’t your property. They have their own life to live too. Let them go see their family or hang out with their friends on a Saturday night. Don’t make them choose between you and their career or their hobby. All these things make up who they are. If you take even one of these things away, they’re not going to be the same anymore—and you’ll either stop liking them or they’ll stop liking you.
That they’ll always be 100 percent honest
There are certain things and thoughts that you don’t openly share with your partner. It’s the same for them. Just because they’re not telling you everything doesn’t mean they’re doing shady things behind your back. If they’re not being completely honest, they probably think it isn’t worth sharing or are just trying to prevent you from getting hurt over something so trivial. Let it go.
That they’ll make you happy
Making you happy isn’t your partner’s job, no matter what society may say. Making you happy is YOUR job. If you’re unhappy, do something about it; you’re a grown woman. If they’re doing something that’s making you feel this way, let them know so you can find a solution together. If they’re not the one you actually want to be with, break up with them. They don’t exist to run around at your bidding.
That they’ll boost your self-esteem.
Yes, we like it when our partner tells us we look beautiful and we like it when they say things that make us feel good about ourselves, but we shouldn’t expect them to boost our self-esteem for us all the time. Your insecurities won’t go away no matter how many times they tell you you’re gorgeous. You’re going to have to deal with them yourself. Get a makeover or buy some new clothes that look good on you. If you look good, they’ll tell you. No need to beg for it.
That they’ll always satisfy you in bed.
There are a few sexually gifted people, but you’ll probably only meet a handful throughout your life, if at all. If you’re one of the hundreds of millions of women whose partner isn’t naturally that great in bed, you’ll have to communicate how you feel. If that doesn’t help, consider touching yourself while having sex. Don’t expect them to know what to do on their own—they probably don’t know what they’re doing most of the time.
That they’ll remember your anniversary
Unless they’re known for having really good memory, they’re going to forget at least once. Instead of throwing a bitch fit, you should just remind them a week or two in advance, that way they can prepare something for the big day. Either that or you can both work out a plan together. Trust me, that’s a lot more satisfying.
That they’ll only have eyes for you.
Humans like attractive things, whether they’re people or inanimate objects. You can’t stop your partner from being attracted to other women. Instead of making a big deal about it, openly talk about it without being awkward or feeling insecure. It’ll make you look more attractive in your partner’s eyes, I promise.
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