11 Flirting Strategies Men Use That Really Don’t Work

While there’s no wrong way to flirt, per se, there are some methods guys use that are inappropriate, awkward, or just downright cringeworthy. It’s good to stay open and give guys a chance before you totally shut them off, but anyone who uses any of these 11 flirting methods kinda deserve an automatic write-off.

  1. He moves away when you touch him. There he was touching your arm during conversation and then suddenly you touched him and he moved away. Wait, what? While this might seem weird, some guys actually do this to show you they’re in control and because they think it keeps you begging for their attention. It’s all part of their game, but it’s really only going to end up keeping them single.
  2. He puts you down. He tells you that you remind him of his younger sister or your hair makes you look like a cute poodle and then he laughs. This idiot actually thinks that this will make you want him. Sure, because nothing is hotter than a guy who puts you down, right? Hell no. The problem is that when you argue with him or ask him why he’s saying that, it makes him happy because you’re engaging with him. The best thing to do is walk away.
  3. He tries to impress you. When you’ve started talking to a guy on a dating app and he sends you a picture of himself looking buff at the gym followed by 10 more selfies, it’s clear he’s trying too hard to show you he’s a catch. Ugh. It’s so much better when a guy lets you discover that for yourself.
  4. He “teases” you in a cruel way. It can be cute when a guy teases a woman he likes, but not when he’s basically insulting her and calling it a joke. So damn annoying. This is all about power play and a way for insecure guys to feel more in control of dating. It’s not about genuine feeling at all.
  5. He compliments/insults you. As if insulting you in a “joking” way wasn’t bad enough, sometimes guys take this to the next level by complimenting you and then insulting you. This strategy is considered to be a way to make you need them and to make you feel insecure. He’ll say something like, “You’ve got great hair… although it could do with a haircut.” It’s so childish!
  6. He “likes” everything you post. While it can be cool to see that a guy is paying attention because he “likes” so many of your FB posts, it’s not cool (in fact, it’s creepy) when he goes back in time to your 2008 albums to show appreciation for what you’ve posted. Yikes. He’s got a lot of time on his hands and it’s a pity he’s using so much of it to be a stalker.
  7. He brings gifts to the first date. So he brought you a flower from his garden? That’s cute. He brought you a box of chocolates and a massive bouquet? Err, that’s a little over the top. He’s trying way too hard to be romantic.
  8. He tickles you. Is there anything worse than tickling? Seriously, even if you’re not the ticklish type, getting tickled by a guy you don’t even know can be downright annoying. Is he five years old? How is tickling ever a flirtatious thing to do? It makes you think of those stupid boys who used to tickle you on the playground, you know, the ones you threw rocks at?
  9. He makes everything sexual. You might have major chemistry with this guy, but he’ll undo all of that by flirting sexually with you at every turn. You might be talking about your work or dreams and he’ll get this flirtatious look in his eye and say, “I want you.” Oookay. Then you’re trying to ask him about his life and all he can say is, “I’m so horny for you.” Damn it. Can this guy just have a freaking conversation?
  10. He talks about other women who ask him out. To make himself feel like more of a catch, the guy might tell you how he got hit on at work the other day or how he’s always getting flirted with by women at the club. Insert eye roll. Seriously? Is that supposed to make you jealous or something?
  11. He makes a sexist remark. He thinks he’s flattering you when he says, “You’re refreshingly not like other women.” Meanwhile, the guy’s a total a-hole. There’s nothing complimentary in his statement because he’s basically putting down other women to make you feel good – and thinking it’ll work. Ugh. He’s really got to change his flirting strategy because he’s going home alone tonight.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.