When a relationship ends, you do your best to get over all the messy feelings and move on. You eventually stop missing your ex so much and you start seeing other people. Sometimes, however, your former partner doesn’t move at quite the same pace. In fact, you might even get the feeling that your ex is only pretending to be over you and is actually still harboring some unresolved feelings. How can you if it’s just in your head or they’re still hung up on you? Here are some signs that can give you the answers you’re looking for.
- They make excuses to reach out to you. If you no longer care about someone, you’re not going to reach out to them unless it’s absolutely necessary. You’re not going to call them out of the blue to see how they’re doing and you’re certainly not going to send them funny videos or posts you think they’ll find interesting. If your ex can’t seem to cut the communication cord, that’s a typical sign that they’re only pretending to be over you.
- Your ex keeps offering you help. The ex who’d bicker and complain whenever you asked them to help you pick up something on their way back from work is now happily running errands for you. They offer to help you fix things around the house. When you complain on Twitter about an issue that’s bothering you, they reach out to offer assistance. This can either mean that the breakup was super amicable or that they’re not over you yet and are trying to stay in your good graces.
- They keep reminiscing about the good times. Is your ex tagging you in old pictures on social media or sharing them directly with you? Are they always bringing up a moment when things were good between you and you were completely happy together? Do they reach out to apologize for a past argument or suggest another reason why things happened the way they did? This might be a sign that they miss you and they’re not over you.
- Your ex still wants to maintain a friendship with you. When people ask to stay friends after a breakup, it’s usually because they think it’s an easier way to cope with the loss. Friendship will guarantee that you’ll stay in their life until they find a way to win you back or are finally ready to move on. The pain of remaining friends with your ex can be too much to bear. Most people would rather avoid it until enough time has passed. So if he’s trying to be your friend right away, he’s not over you yet.
- They keep forgetting to come to pick up their stuff or return yours. Does your ex make excuses whenever you remind them to come pick up their stuff? Are they making it difficult for you to collect the stuff you left at their place? It’s probably because they still care about you and they’re not quite ready to let go yet. They know picking up their stuff will leave them without a legitimate reason to contact you. They’re trying to salvage the last piece of the relationship, hoping it will lead you both back to each other.
- Your ex hasn’t abandoned your old routines. An who’s over you or at least serious about moving on will change their old schedule to avoid awkward run-ins with you. If your ex is still hanging at all the old places you used to visit together at the exact times you usually go there, they might be hoping to run into you. This could be their way of staying on your mind and creating opportunities for a reunion.
- They’re trying to make you jealous. When your ex starts going out a lot more and living it up, sharing pictures of their adventures, that might be their way of trying to get your attention. They might begin doing all the things you planned to do together. Maybe even flaunt their new partner or a slew of partners in your face to make you jealous. They want you to know what you’re missing out on and regret ever letting them go.
- Your ex has a new partner who is just like you. Is your ex dating someone who looks or acts like you? This might indicate that they’re still hung up on you. And since they can’t have you, they’re settling for the next best thing—a lookalike. They’re using the new person as a stand-in, a way to sort out their feelings without going cold turkey.
- They keep asking your friends about you. This is one dead giveaway that your ex is pretending to be over you. It’s why they keep asking people you know about you. When they see your friends, family, or coworkers, they make sure to ask how you’re doing and if you’re seeing anyone yet. They want to know where you are and who you’ve been hanging out with. Deep down, they’re hoping your friends will tell you that they asked about you and it might inspire you to reach out to them.
- Your ex keeps revisiting your breakup. It’s normal to want to talk about a breakup and why it happened. It’s one way to get closure and move on. But when your ex keeps asking the same questions over and over, that’s because they’re not over you. They want to figure out what went wrong so they can try to fix it and rebuild the relationship.
- They’re putting on a show about moving on. If your ex keeps telling everyone within hearing distance how much they’re over you, it’s likely because they’re overcompensating for still having feelings for you and are simply pretending to be over you. They might be writing epistles on social media about how their life is so much better since they’ve been single. They’re hoping that if they say they’ve moved on enough times, it’ll become true. Or somehow make you want to get back together with them.
