Someone who lacks empathy is selfish and self-absorbed, so they aren’t compassionate to other people. Empathy is one of the most important qualities to look for in a friend or partner, otherwise, you’ll feel like you’re not acknowledged or comforted. That’s not cool! Are you dealing with someone who’s not empathetic? Here are 11 signs that the guy you’ve just met or your new friend lacks empathy.
1. They Don’t React When You Go Through A Crisis.
You have a day from hell. Your dog gets hit by a car or someone steals your wallet at the store. When you tell your partner or friend what happened, they don’t seem to react. They might even remain eerily calm. Ugh, what? It’s almost like they don’t know how to deal with your feelings, so they don’t offer any comfort.
2. They Call You A Baby When You Cry.
When you’re distraught over someone’s insensitive remarks, a person who lacks empathy will tell you that you’re being a baby for crying. They’re inconsiderate. Around this person, you always feel like you’re being too sensitive and they’re quick to criticize you for showing your emotions.
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4. They Focus On What They Want.
Someone who lacks empathy will focus on themselves. They love making “I” statements and talking about what they like or what they want to do. You might feel like they’re running you into the ground because they never take your opinions or feelings into account. Geez, it’s all about them.
5. They Don’t Pop The Champagne With You.
When you land a promotion or win a vacation to Hawaii, you share the news with your friend or BF and they don’t seem to share in your happiness. Talk about awkward. So, not only do they back off when you’re sad, but they also can’t deal when you’re happy. That sucks because you clearly can’t depend on them to share anything that’s important to you.
6. They Only Focus On Their Perspectives.
Someone who lacks empathy avoids seeing situations from other people’s perspectives. They won’t understand other people’s choices and will belittle you for them. So, during a fight with someone who doesn’t have empathy, you’ll probably be frustrated because they won’t try to understand your views at all. They might even look at you like you’re totally nuts. Great.
7. They Look Bored When You Talk About Yourself.
Although they love to talk about themselves, people without empathy will dislike it when other people have the spotlight. So, if you’re telling them a story about what happened to you at work, they’ll tune out. You’ll see their eyes glaze over or they’ll cut into the conversation and talk about themselves. It’s annoying AF.
8. They Don’t Know How To Apologize.
Since someone who lacks empathy isn’t going to understand your feelings, they don’t usually apologize. They’ll wait for you to go to them to make up, which is frustrating. You might feel like you’re always the one who has to reach out and say sorry, like you’re in the wrong even if you’re not to blame for what happened.
9. They Blame You For Everything.
Someone with a lack of empathy will blame others for everything. They don’t take responsibility, and this could be because they lack self-reflection. What’s even worse is that they might blame you for what you experience, which is upsetting and judgmental. For example, if your car gets stolen, they might blame the fact that you were out with your friends. Or, if your job’s exhausting, they’ll blame you for choosing it in the first place.
10. They Don’t Have Friends.
It’s always a red flag when someone doesn’t have a single friend. How is that possible? Although there are many reasons that could be causing it, it could also be a sign of low empathy. How can other people want to be around this person if their feelings are always being ignored instead of acknowledged? People without empathy won’t be able to legit care about or listen to others.
11. They’re Moody And Mysterious.
While you might think it’s attractive for someone to be moody and mysterious, it might be a sign of a lack of empathy. They might struggle to know what they’re feeling so when you ask them if they’re okay they’ll just huff or totally ignore you. They might also find it difficult to regulate their emotions, so they’ll blow up in front of a stranger without any shame or they’ll take out their bad mood on everyone else.
12. They Joke Around At Inappropriate Times.
When you’re feeling sad, the person might try to lift your mood. Although this seems like a nice thing to do, it’s actually not if it’s coming from someone with no empathy. They’re trying to make you laugh because they don’t want to have to deal with your emotions. Ugh. They don’t realize how annoying it is when someone tries to laugh off your emotions. What, are you supposed to be a robot?
