If you’re an inconsiderate person, you might not realize that you’re coming across as tactless or thoughtless when communicating with others. But, if you’re saying any of the following 11 things to someone, you make the cut for being pretty rude. Try to be a little more sensitive to what other people are saying in the future, so you can end the conversation feeling good instead of with a nagging feeling that you did something wrong.
1. You Don’t Say Thank You.
Let’s start with something an inconsiderate person doesn’t say: thank you. So, when your BF brings you tea in the morning because you’re busy or your friend walks your dogs, do you forget to thank them? Maybe it slips your mind or you figure you don’t have to say thanks ’cause they know you’re grateful. Well, in the future, ensure you say thank you – it takes one second and will show your appreciation. We all want to be acknowledged.
2. “So What?”
Your friend’s telling you that she’s got to fly overseas and she’s stressed AF about the flight, and you say, “So what?” Your BF politely tells you that your untidiness makes him feel stressed, and you bark, “So what?” Um, what? While you might be trying to write off their fears or show them that nothing really matters, they don’t want to hear it RN ’cause it’s rude. You shouldn’t write off their feelings with “So what?” Trust me, it’s putting you in their bad books.
3. “It Can’t Be That Bad.”
We all need friends we can vent to about stuff, even if our problems aren’t that big of a deal. It helps to get our frustrations out, right? So, when a friend’s complaining about her IBS symptoms or how she’s always tired AF, you shouldn’t reply with, “It can’t be that bad.” Wait, what? You might as well tell her that her feelings are wrong. SMH. Next time, ask her to explain more about what she’s going through and try to put yourself in her place. The convo will go so much better, I promise.
4. “Snap out of it.”
Another unkind phrase that doesn’t help anyone is if you tell your friend to snap out of their bad mood/anxiety/looping thoughts. No one ever managed to flip a switch and feel better because they were told to snap out of it. It’s just not happening, so try to empathize with what they’re going through or just listen. Both are much better ways to help someone snap out of a bad mood.
5. “You’ll Be Fine.”
If someone vents about a stressful project that’s landed on their desk or they’re worried about finding enough time to work on their side hustle, your goal should be to be positive and helpful, right? Telling them that they’ll be fine doesn’t achieve that. It’s not positive, it’s insensitive. How do you know they won’t encounter problems, BTW? Rather encourage them by reminding them of their strength. It’s so much more meaningful.
6. “Sorry, What Was That?”
Do you listen when people speak or does your mind wander? Do you check your phone or look around you at other people? It’s so rude! If you’re always saying, “Sorry, what was that you said?” or “Can you repeat that?” you’re going to shut down the conversation. No one is going to want to talk to someone who clearly isn’t tuned in.
7. “Wait, You Know What?”
Your friend’s telling you something about their toxic ex’s shenanigans and you interrupt them by saying something like, “Wait, you know what?” Then, you proceed to tell them one of your stories of a guy you dated. Although you might just be trying to empathize with your friend by sharing your experiences, it comes across as you taking over and wanting to talk about yourself. Your friend might also feel like you’re trying to compete to have the best story. Ugh.
8. “Do You Want To…?”
You want your boyfriend to take out the trash but instead of asking him nicely, you phrase your request as a question, such as, “Do you want to take out the trash this morning?” Um, it might seem like you’re being sweet, but you’re actually speaking to him like he’s a kid or like he should choose to take out the trash.
9. “Obviously.”
When someone says something and you reply with, “Obviously,” it sounds so rude. You might as well tell them not to be silly. Yes, they’re obviously going to have to take time process their feelings after a break-up. Or, yes, they’re obviously going to have to scrutinize their bad-boy boyfriend for signs that he’s wasting their time. They don’t need you to point it out!
10. “Here’s What I Think.”
By interrupting what someone’s saying with, “Here’s what I think” or “Here’s the thing,” you’re just pulling the conversation back to you. It’s quite selfish behavior because you’re focusing on your thoughts, as though only you have the best solution or your word is law. Meanwhile, you’re slamming the brakes on the conversation.
11. “Whatever.”
While this word is so overused, with people saying it all the darn time, it can come across as rude. It’s basically a way to shut down the conversation. If someone tells you that you’re being a bit insensitive, and you reply with “Whatever,” it comes across as rude and childish. Just don’t do it!
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