Everyone gets angry from time to time, but left unchecked all that anger can lead to health problems and unhappiness in life. You know how horrible it feels to be angry on the regular, like your blood is buzzing under your skin. It can wreck your closest relationships and distort your perceptions. You’ve got to nip it in the bud! But, how can you tell that you’re angry? You might be feeling it without even realizing it. Here are 11 signs that you’re actually angrier than you think.
1. Your Muscles Are Tense.
Do you feel pain in your jaw when you wake up in the morning? Maybe you’re so tense and angry that you’re clenching your jaw in your sleep. Do you feel your neck is stiff? You could be maintaining a rigid posture from anger that’s causing you to be uncomfortable in your own body. You need to relax those muscles and breathe!
2. You’re Irritable.
During your day, you find that you have a short fuse. Any little comment from someone or little inconvenience can cause you to lose your cool, and maybe you think about it all day long. If you never used to be super-irritable and quick to huff and puff, but lately impatience is your default mode, then you’ve got to check what’s triggering your anger.
3. Your Mind’s Racing.
Anger can sometimes make you feel out of control. While you’re not actually losing control physically, you might experience racing thoughts because of all that pent-up energy inside you. Stop, breathe, and ask yourself what’s getting on your nerves. There’s clearly an issue that’s bothering you and which needs your attention.
4. You’re Feeling More Sensitive.
Anger is closely linked to sadness, which is why it’s normal to feel sensitive and even tearful if you’ve been angry lately. Listen to your feelings. Take the time to tune into them so you can dig deeper into their layers, getting to the root of the problem you’re facing and which you might not realize is causing you so much stress.
5. You Replay Grievances In Your Mind.
Do you find yourself replaying previous fights with people in your mind, or coming up with angry comments to things people might say in the future? You’re working yourself up by imagining scenarios that will make you angry or holding onto grudges from the past. Over time, this can affect your body, such as by making you tense and really unhappy.
6. You’re Passive Aggressive.
You’re angry but you don’t come out and say it. Instead, you make subtle passive-aggressive comments to show that you’re upset, like “Fine” or “Whatever.” Or, you might agree with what people say and appear to be happy, even though you’re inwardly seething. So, you’re basically carrying that anger around with you instead of confronting it, and it’s only hurting you.
7. You’re Defensive.
Being angry puts you on the defensive. You’re quick to assume that people are out to get you or upset you. So, if your partner asks you why you’re putting thyme in the potato dish, you immediately assume that they’re being critical. Or, if your friend doesn’t celebrate your recent accomplishment, you might think they’re being mean to you (even if they actually have a good reason for not getting in touch).
8. You Feel Awkward Around Others.
If you’re feeling awkward around loved ones and friends, it could be that you’re picking up vibes that they feel like they have to tiptoe around you. They might be afraid to say anything to you in case it makes you blow up at them or dish them a mean comment. Check how others behave around you as it can give you clues into your emotional landscape.
9. You’re Critical Of Yourself.
You might be so angry at the world, but this anger could also be directed at yourself. So, you might be highly critical of yourself. Maybe you’re always telling yourself that you could’ve done better at work or you should’ve done something else to keep your relationship going. You might even call yourself nasty names. You’re behaving like your own worst enemy and it’s not doing you any favors.
10. You’re Getting Physical Symptoms.
Besides muscle tension that we talked about earlier, you might also be experiencing other anger-related symptoms. You might feel a racing heart, shaky hands or legs, or shortness of breath. If you’re feeling these symptoms, you should check your emotional triggers. Write them down in a journal and see if you can spot any thought or feeling patterns so you can destroy the anger that’s hurting you.
11. You’re Shutting Down.
If you’re angry, you might want to distance yourself from things that are upsetting you. So, you might shut down conversations you don’t want to have or you might become disinterested in triggering topics. You might also avoid eye contact because you’re emotionally fragile and don’t want people to see it. Although these behaviors could wrongly inform people that you don’t care about them, they’re displays of your inner anger getting the best of you.
