11 Subtle Signs You’re Being Rejected

Rejection isn’t always as obvious as you’d think. You might not even realize someone is knocking you back until they’re suddenly just not in your life anymore. So how can you know if you’re being rejected if the guying isn’t telling you exclusively? If any of these 11 things are happening to you, it’s not looking good.

  1. He takes his time getting back to you. Does it sometimes feel like he’s not rushing to get back to you when you text or call him? Does it feel like he has all the time in the world to do so? If those apply, they could be a sign that you’re not his number-one priority. If someone is interested in you, they make you a priority even if they’re busy.
  2. He’s never available for you. You want to go out with him on a date but he apologizes for letting you down… again. You invite him to meet your friends and he apologizes for not being able to make it because he’s already got plans. Hmmm. It seems like he’s being nice enough about it, but he’s never available – that’s the cold, hard truth here.
  3. He’s caught out. You know he said he was busy at work so you wanted to bring him some coffee. Okay, that might not be such a good idea if he said he was too busy to meet up with you, but that aside, it’s a nice thought. What do you find when you get there? He’s chilling out with his co-workers and doesn’t seem so stressed. Of course, when he sees you, he’s all smiles and apologies yet again… He’s letting you down gently.
  4. He cuts your dates short. He might meet up with you for dates, but when he does, it’s like he can’t seem to spend a lot of time with you. He always has an excuse for having to rush off even if you’re hanging out on the weekend. Is he just confused about his feelings for you or is he keeping you around for convenience? Either way, he’s certainly not keen on making time with you important.
  5. Calls to him go to voicemail. He’ll text you and seems to enjoy it, but then when you try to call him on the phone, he never answers. What’s up with that? For some people, calls are a bit too personal or invasive, but honestly, that’s BS if someone likes you because they’ll want to speak to you and hear your voice.
  6. He deflects your compliments. You meet up with him for a date and he’s looking good so you compliment him. He deflects your words, rolling his eyes or saying that he doesn’t. It feels uncomfortable, sure, but it can also be a sign that he’s trying to tell you not to be into him.
  7. He just doesn’t answer. After spending time with him, you text him to say you had a great time. He doesn’t answer. This kind of thing can make you start to get the feeling that he’s rejecting you. He’s not openly saying that he doesn’t like you, but he’s not returning the sentiment. That should be a huge red flag. Ditto for if you have to ask him if he feels the same. You shouldn’t have to do that.
  8. He’s painfully shy. Right, the guy might legit be shy which makes him take his time when doing things like asking you out or making things official, but eventually he’ll get there. Seriously, no matter how shy a guy is, nothing will stand in his way when he wants to be with you. The point is that if he’s so shy he’s stagnating instead of moving things forward, that could be rejection.
  9. He never initiates. When you pull back and stop texting him, does he do the same thing or does he reach out? If he seems to go AWOL on you so easily that shows you that he doesn’t care enough to make an effort.
  10. He’s excited, but… When you suggest going out to that new restaurant that’s opened up across town, he seems enthusiastic, but then he’s not available or he just doesn’t get back to you when you ask him to confirm it. If he can’t follow through, that’s a red flag you shouldn’t take lightly.
  11. He’s got techno issues. You can’t seem to get hold of him via text, WhatsApp, on Facebook, or anywhere else. When he finally surfaces, he has the excuse that his phone was broken or his computer jammed, or whatever. It just feels like such a lie to excuse himself for not wanting to talk to you.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.