Loneliness, self-doubt and heartache make unrequited love seem like the worst possible experience ever. There’s something uniquely devastating about having your heart call out to someone who doesn’t feel the same, but don’t despair just yet. Unrequited love can actually be good for you, even though it might not feel like right now.
I’ve been there, done that. It does hurt, but you do get through it. What’s on the other side will surprise you. You suddenly realize that all you’ve gone through is worth it. You come out as a better, even happier person. Trust me when I tell you that your life isn’t over. Unrequited love happens, but that doesn’t mean there’s not a better, stronger love in your future.
It makes you think about what you want. At some point, you start thinking about why you feel the way you do. This leads you to thinking about what you truly want. Is he really the type of guy you’re into? What is it about him that you like? What would your ideal life be together? Before long, you know what you want and it’s not actually him.
You’ll learn what it means to love. Love isn’t always butterflies and rainbows – it’s a pain in the ass like no other. Sure, not having someone return your love hurts, but really feeling the love shows you what it feels like to love someone (outside of family and friends of course). You won’t have to wonder anymore if you’re dealing with love or lust – you’ll know.
It teaches you to handle rejection. To me, unrequited love is the ultimate form of rejection. The other person doesn’t mean to hurt you, but they honestly don’t feel the same. Getting turned down for a date stings, but when your heart is pushed away, it’s painful. Dealing with these feelings helps you better deal with rejection in the future.
It forces you to improve yourself. At first, you’ll try to change yourself to whatever you think they’ll like best. Gradually, you stop doing it for them and start doing it for yourself. That initial change phase makes you analyze the worst parts about yourself and encourages you to improve. Once you move on to changing for you, you end up with a much better version of yourself.
You’ll learn what makes you truly happy. The only way to get over unrequited love is to fight back by doing things you love. I’m not talking about eating ice cream or stalking your love on Facebook. I mean you have to immerse yourself in hobbies, go out with your best friends and try new things to take your mind off what’s going on. In the end, you learn what things in life make you truly happy. Often they’re things you’ve been taking for granted.
You’ll realize you are happy on your own. As you start to try to get through your heartbroken haze, you start to realize you don’t really need anyone to make you happy. All that loneliness you felt didn’t break you and now you’re starting to feel happy again. And it’s all because of you. It didn’t take a guy to make you happy.
It makes you more cautious in relationships. I know it might not seem like a benefit, but I’ve watched a few friends get hurt time and time again because they fell head over heels after the first date. After you’ve dealt with unrequited love, you’re a little more careful. You hold back until you know whether the other person has feelings for you or not. Basically, you get to know the person better before giving him your heart.
It boosts other relationships in your life. The people who love you will be there for you. It’s okay that some guy didn’t return your love. This gives your friends and family a chance to help pick you back up. While they’re doing this, your relationships with each of them are growing stronger.
It proves that you can love again. I honestly felt like I’d never possibly love again. It just hurt too much. Along the way, I realized if I felt this strongly about someone who didn’t love me, how much more would I love someone who loved me back? Even if you don’t realize this, trust me when I say someone will prove that unrequited love isn’t your last and only love.
It lets you love safely from a distance. If you have problems with commitment, unrequited love is your best friend. This is especially true if you’ve never told the other person you love them. You’re able to love them with all your heart without ever telling them or committing to them. It’s safe and you don’t get hurt like you might in a relationship.
It improves your confidence and self-esteem. Don’t get me wrong, you’ll feel anything but confident when you realize you’re not loved back. Winning the battle and coming back from unrequited love makes you feel more confident and self-assured than ever before. You loved, you lost and you survived.
Loving someone doesn’t automatically mean they’ll love you. Don’t let it ruin you, though. Enjoy the benefits of unrequited love and know that you’ll feel better soon.
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