11 Things People Say That Prove They Feel Unworthy Of Love

11 Things People Say That Prove They Feel Unworthy Of Love

Have you ever noticed yourself repeating certain phrases that suggest you feel unworthy of love? These seemingly harmless statements can hold a lot of power, shaping your perceptions and limiting your ability to experience genuine connection. You deserve every ounce of love someone can offer you. Don’t hold yourself back.

1. “I’m not good enough for anybody.”

You know that nagging feeling where you think you just don’t cut it for anyone? It’s like having an internal critic that’s always on your case, telling you you’re not smart enough, cool enough, funny enough – just never enough. But here’s the thing: this critic is not the boss of you. Everyone has their own unique strengths and flaws, and that’s perfectly okay. It’s crucial to remember that worthiness isn’t about meeting some impossible standard. Being ‘good enough’ starts with accepting yourself as you are, quirks and all. You are enough, just by being you.

2. “I’m always going to be alone.”

Feeling like you’re forever destined to be solo can be a real downer, especially when it seems like everyone else has their love story figured out. Maybe you’ve had a string of bad relationships, or maybe love just hasn’t knocked on your door yet. But predicting a forever-alone future? That’s selling yourself short. Life is unpredictable, and love even more so. It’s about staying open to possibilities and not letting past experiences totally dictate your outlook on love. Your relationship status right now isn’t a permanent label. Love has its own timing, and it’s different for everyone.

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4. “I’m going to get hurt again.”

It’s totally natural to want to shield yourself from heartbreak, especially if you’ve been down that road before. The thought of going through all that pain again can be enough to make you want to build walls around your heart. But living in constant fear of getting hurt can keep you from experiencing some truly wonderful things about love. It’s about finding the balance between protecting yourself and not closing off completely. Each relationship is a new chapter; it doesn’t have to repeat the past. Taking chances is part of life, and sometimes it leads to amazing places.

5. “I’m not worthy of real love.”

The thought of being unworthy of love can be a really deep-seated belief, and shaking it off isn’t easy. Maybe it’s something you’ve felt for a long time, or maybe it’s been reinforced by past experiences. But here’s the truth: You are absolutely worthy of love – the real, deep, can’t-live-without-each-other kind of love. This feeling of unworthiness often comes from comparing yourself to others or focusing on your flaws. But love isn’t a prize for being perfect; it’s something everyone deserves, including you. It starts with recognizing your own worth and knowing you deserve to be loved just as much as anyone else.

6. “I’m not the kind of person who finds love.”

Thinking you’re somehow excluded from the love club can be a lonely feeling. Maybe you see friends or people around you falling in love and wonder, “Why not me?” But the thing is, love isn’t reserved for a certain type of person. It’s not like there’s a secret club with a strict entry policy. Love can happen to anyone, at any time, often when you least expect it. It’s not about changing who you are to find love; it’s about being yourself and letting love find you.

7. “I’m not attractive enough.”

Worrying about not being physically attractive enough for love is something a lot of people struggle with. We live in a world that often sets unrealistic standards for what attractiveness is supposed to look like. But attraction is so much more than just the physical stuff. It’s about your laugh, the way you see the world, your kindness – all the things that make you uniquely you. Attraction is subjective, and what one person finds irresistible, another might not. It’s about finding someone who gets you and loves all of you – including the physical bits.

8. “I’m not lovable.”

Feeling unlovable can hit deep. Maybe it comes from not feeling accepted in the past or from relationships that made you feel less-than. But here’s a little reminder: You are lovable. Yes, you – with all your quirks, your passions, your history. Sometimes it’s about finding the right people who will see and appreciate the real you. Being lovable isn’t about being perfect or always easy to be with. It’s about being authentically you and connecting with those who love you for it.

9. “I’m not capable of love.”

Thinking that you’re incapable of love can be a reflection of self-doubt or past experiences where love felt confusing or painful. But the capacity to love and be loved is within almost everyone. It might take time to understand how you experience and express love, and that’s okay. Love isn’t a one-size-fits-all thing; it’s personal and unique to each individual. Give yourself the chance to explore what love means to you. You might be surprised at how much love you have to give and receive.

10. “I’m not worth the effort.”

Believing you’re not worth someone’s time or effort can be a sign of low self-esteem. Maybe it’s a feeling that’s been building up over time, reinforced by negative experiences or self-doubt. But here’s the deal: You are worth the effort. The right person will see your value and will want to put in the time and energy because they see what you bring to the table. It’s about recognizing your own worth and not settling for anyone who doesn’t see it. You deserve someone who’s willing to go the extra mile for you, just as you would for them.

11. “I always mess things up.”

Ever catch yourself thinking that you’re the one who always ruins relationships? It’s like carrying around a giant “I’m the problem” sign. This thought often comes from looking back at past relationships and only seeing your own mistakes. But relationships are a two-way street – they’re about both people, not just one. It’s important to remember that everyone makes mistakes, and they don’t make you unworthy of love. It’s about learning from the past, not living in it. Recognizing your worth means understanding that you’re not defined by your mistakes.

12. “No one can ever truly understand me.”

Feeling like your personality is too deep and complex or too ‘out there’ for anyone to really get you? It’s a thought that can make you feel pretty isolated. But here’s the thing: everyone is complex in their own way. Sure, finding someone who truly understands you might take time, but that doesn’t mean it’s impossible. Sometimes, it’s about being open and giving people a chance to know the real you. And sometimes, it’s about understanding and accepting yourself first. Remember, being understood starts with being open – to yourself and to others.

Originally from Australia, Emma Mills graduated from the University of Queensland with a dual degree in Philosophy and Applied Linguistics before moving to Los Angeles to become a professional matchmaker (a bit of a shift, obviously). Since 2015, she has helped more than 150 people find lasting love and remains passionate about bringing amazing singletons together.

Emma is also the author of the upcoming Hachette publication, "Off the Beaten Track: Finding Lasting Love in the Least Likely of Places," due out in January 2025.
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