Annoying Guy Habits: 12 Signs He’s the WORST at Texting

If Emily Post were alive today, she’d have to write a new volume on the etiquette of texting between the sexes, because guys don’t get it. Communication between all genders can be difficult enough in person, and adding this impersonal, vague, interpretive technological element definitely hasn’t helped. Texting can make or break a potential relationship and sadly, most guys are bad texters who have no clue that a lot of their annoying texting habits are turning us off and ruin the dating and mating games. So just how bad is it?

  1. He responds to a text hours later or the next day. It takes literally 10 seconds to text someone back, possibly 20 if you’re writing a lengthy response. There is absolutely NO conceivable reason it should EVER take a guy 8+ hours to respond – unless he was hit by a truck and is in the ER, there’s no excuse. If he’s super busy or has other plans, there’s no reason not to respond and say so.
  2. He gives one-word texts. Yep. Uh-huh. K. Ya. Annoying, right? Guys that respond to you like this should ignore everything I wrote above and not bother replying at all. It’s way more frustrating than silence.
  3. He avoids answering a question. It’s pretty damn annoying when you write two sentences, one of which happens to be a question, and the response you get back completely ignores it. Please note that we are not texting him a question because it gives our fingers some much-needed cardio. If we ask, he should answer. Just because we don’t call him out on it doesn’t mean we didn’t notice and aren’t annoyed.
  4. He texts you, then doesn’t respond when you text back. This. Is. The. Worst. It’s literally one of the most annoying guy habits EVER. Is it a game to see if you’ll reply to him? Why in God’s name is he reaching out to you if he doesn’t want you to reply? If a guy does this, delete his number immediately.
  5. He stalks you via text. Hey. What are you doing? Where are you? Did you watch this week’s episode of Scandal? While sometimes women don’t respond to avoid hurting a guy’s feelings, some of them just don’t get it and text stalk. A good rule of thumb is if he texts you and never receives a response, he probably shouldn’t text you again. Especially not every few minutes asking questions you’re not going to answer.
  6. He ends every sentence with “LOL”. I want to be crystal clear here. Just because he writes “LOL” after the end of every sentence doesn’t mean he can say whatever he wants. He may be laughing, but we’re not. He needs to reserve his “LOL” use for actual funny situations and if he really wants to be safe, he can avoid using it altogether.
  7. He asks you a question you’ve already answered. In the infamous words of former Real Housewife of New Jersey star Danielle Staub, “Pay attention, puh-lease.” Guys that ask girls questions like, “Where are you from?” and then ask you again later or the next time he texts deserve to have their phones taken away.
  8. He texts just to chat and not asking you to make plans. It’s the worst kind of false hope when your crush’s name pops up on your phone and you think he’s going to ask what you’re up to this weekend and all he does is make small talk. The sad truth is that guys get bored and text girls they don’t really want to hang out with. If you notice this pattern, halt all communication. You want a guy that wants a real relationship with you, not a texting relationship.
  9. He asks for a sexy photo. Texting is one of the first forms of flirting that happens after you meet someone of the other sex these days. While it can get a little intense and even possibly a little naughty, a surefire way to piss a girl off is to ask her to send a nude photo. First of all, if you want him to have one, you’ll send one of your own volition. Second of all, it makes you feel like a piece of meat. If he needs to get off and wants to see some naked boobs, there’s a bounty of free sex on the internet.
  10. He sends you drunk texts after a night out with his bros. Oh, so now he wants to be really chatty and blow up your phone every five minutes because he had a few too many shots? It’s beyond irritating when a guy goes from 0-60 when they’re drunk and text as if the world was ending. Plus, he chose a night of bro time over a night out with you, so he’s already starting from behind. If he wants to say goodnight or that he missed you, that’s fine, but he needs keep it short and sweet unless he’s sober. Nothing is as funny as he thinks it is at that moment.
  11. He uses terrible grammar. Sure, texting is fairly informal and while he may not need to use an MLA handbook, there are a few things guys should keep in mind. Texting with a guy should not make you feel like you’re texting back and forth with a 13 year-old girl. If he’s in a hurry, fine, but there’s no reason to use 10 emojis in every text and the letter “U” instead of writing “you.” I mean, what kind of time does that really save? Also, once and for all, he needs to learn the difference between “you’re” and “your.” There’s nothing like bad grammar that will make a girl go from turned on to turned off.
  12. He sends unsolicited dick pics. This isn’t just one of the most annoying guy habits, it’s one of the most disgusting. Guys should never – I repeat, never! – send a girl an unrequested penis pic. Most girls probably won’t ask guys for one, and guess what that means? It means you don’t want one.
Abby Stern grew up in New Orleans and is now an actress, screenwriter, and blogger (who isn't?) trying to keep it real in Los Angeles. She also writes for FabFitFun and contributes to various blogs detailing her unique perspective on dating and twenty-something life in Hollywood. Gwyneth Paltrow is her spirit animal and in her free time, Abby enjoys Bellinis and plotting to steal unattended Birkin bags. Follow her on Twitter: @abbystern