You want to show him you enjoy spending time with him and like him but you don’t want to be so available that you start to look desperate AF. Here are some signs that it’s time to reel it in and start making yourself scarce.
You drop it like it’s hot. You could be at a salsa class or out with your best friends but when the guy calls, you choose to go out with him rather than enjoy what you were doing. This only sends the message that your life’s boring, which it isn’t! Remember: there’s nothing more attractive than a woman who has a life she loves.
You answer right away. When he calls you, you barely let the phone ring twice before picking it up. I’m not saying you should wait for it to ring at least three times. Actually, maybe I am. See, the thing is that if you answer as the call comes through, it sends the message that you’re waiting around for it. What, don’t you ever leave your phone in the other room because you’re occupied with something else?
You reply to every text. Yes, EVERY SINGLE text. You might think it shows you enjoy talking to him, but bear in mind that it can look like you want to have the last word on everything. Plus, it can cause the conversation to become tedious, especially when you’re sending each other one-word answers or emojis at the end of a chat.
He depletes your resources. You call him and he spends hours talking about his issues, which sucks your airtime. He asks if it’s okay to help him with something and you’re keen to do it even though it’s really inconvenient right now. Whoa, wait! This guy’s taking advantage of your kindness and eagerness. Don’t let him suck your energy, time, or money. It’s not showing him how supportive you are but how desperate.
You sacrifice sleep to be with him. You love your beauty sleep but will jump out of bed if he asks you out for a spontaneous walk or to drive to his place. WTF? He’s only looking for a booty call, for goodness’ sake. If he likes you enough, he’ll want to see you at a more convenient time, not just when it’s convenient for him to get his rocks off.
You let him plan all your dates. You don’t really want to go to that BBQ with his annoying friends or mountain climbing because you’re afraid of heights, but he wants you to go so you say yes. It’s fine to be open to trying new things with the guy you’re dating but not if you’re always doing whatever he wants to do. It sends the message that you’re passive. Not cool.
You apologize for not replying quickly enough. When you’re busy at work and don’t get a chance to reply to his texts, you apologize the next time you speak. WTF? You don’t have to apologize for having a life!
You’re available for his reschedules. It’s bad enough to be available every time he asks you out. But when he cancels a date and then reschedules, you shouldn’t be so flexible that you just agree to the new plans. Now’s your time to say what you’d like to do and when you’re free. Take some control. Show him that your needs are important.
You invite him out when he doesn’t take a raincheck. If he cancels a date and then doesn’t reschedule, he could be blowing you off. Wait and see what he does instead of inviting him out a few days later. That’s just making things too easy for him. Don’t try so hard!
You’re never busy. In truth, you’re busy AF but he doesn’t know that. You want him to think that you’re making him a priority. Um, don’t. You’re just making him think you’ve got him on a pedestal, like you’re honored to date him or something. Barf.
You refuse other dates. If he hasn’t made your relationship official, why shouldn’t you be accepting date invitations from other guys? Canceling on those guys just to sit at home waiting for this one to make contact is just making you miss out on other, possibly better opportunities.
You always call first. When last did he call you? If you’re always the one missing him to the point where you pick up the phone to say hi, you’re showing him that you’ll chase him if need be, which will just make him let you do the chasing. Plus, by initiating contact too often, you could be ignoring signs that he’s actually not interested in you. He’s not calling you for a reason: he’s not that interested.
You go the extra mile. He doesn’t stick to texting you when he promised he would, but you make sure you keep your word with him. It’s good to make an effort but not if he’s not meeting you halfway. Besides, if he’s not showing real interest by keeping his word, he’s not going to be impressed by you making such an effort with him. In fact, it might be seen as “clingy.” Your precious time and energy are being wasted on this jerk.
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