12 Signs Your Partner Is Emotionally Cheating On You

Your boyfriend might not be having sex with another woman, but he could be emotionally cheating and that’s just as damaging. Here are 12 signs he’s having soul sex with her. It’s also just a matter of time before that emotional connection he has with someone else ends up being physical, so you’ve been warned.

  1. He’s always in touch with her. You see him regularly reaching for his phone and texting his friend/co-worker/acquaintance for hours at a time. He seems distracted with you because emailing or texting her has his full concentration. What the hell? It’s like they’re always together, even if it’s a virtual connection.
  2. He tells her things first. When he gets a flat tire on the highway or takes up a fun new hobby, she’s the first person he tells instead of you. Wait, what? He might casually mention that she’s the only other person who knows about his latest news, but it’s not something casual at all!
  3. He shares a lot of interests with her. You might feel a bit left out in your relationship because he’s always going hiking or rock climbing with her because they share the same interests and hobbies. While it’s fine for him to spend time with his friends, it’s not cool if he’s always doing stuff with her.
  4. He rushes to her. Whenever she needs something from him, does he rush to help her out even if he’s supposed to be spending time with you? This type of behavior will quickly start to make you feel like you’re not his priority anymore. As his girlfriend, you’re supposed to be his number one. He’s acting selfish.
  5. He compares her to you. When you guys have a fight, he might bring her into it, like by saying, “Jane would never overreact like this!” It’s so inappropriate to compare you to her, especially when he’s basically saying that she’s better than you in some way. Such disrespect!
  6. He uses her as a backup. When you don’t want to do something or you don’t agree with something he did, he’ll use her as backup for his own opinions or decisions. For example, he might say, “I asked Jane about it and she doesn’t think what I did is bad” or “I asked Jane and she said she’d love chocolates for her birthday so I don’t know why you don’t.” Geez, dude, why don’t you just date Jane then?!
  7. He’s not telling you the truth. You can’t help but feel like he’s lying about who he’s chatting to or who he’s meeting during his lunch breaks at work. He might become shifty when you ask him directly, or give you vague answers for what he’s doing.
  8. He freaks when you go near his phone. His phone rings while he’s in the other room and he tells you not to answer it as though it contains a bomb. Yikes. You walk into the room when he’s busy on his laptop and he quickly flips it closed. Dodgy!
  9. He always uses the same excuse. If you lose your cool and confront him about his friend or co-worker, he’ll always tell you, “We’re just friends.” But he never explains more, or understands where you’re coming from by being upset. It’s becoming really frustrating.
  10. He’s changing around you. While he seems fun and full of life when he’s talking to his “special friend,” when he’s with you he’s irritable, short-tempered, or just not present. He’s like a totally different guy and clearly she’s bringing out the best in him.
  11. His situation is causing you much anxiety. You can’t help but feel your blood pressure rise whenever he mentions her or says he spent some time with her. This is leading to a lot of anxiety, but you might also feel angry or depressed. It’s not good for your emotional health to be dragged into this situation.
  12. He won’t end his friendship. If you’re not cool with his friendship with her or you suspect that they’re having an emotional affair so you ask him to end things with her, he refuses. Or, worse, he starts sneaking around your back. Clearly he’s putting her above you again, and it’s just not worth wasting your time with this guy.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.