12 Signs You’re In A Dead End Relationship That’s Going Nowhere

Are you really happy in your relationship? You might think that you are, or maybe you’re waiting for things with your partner to get better, but are you sure you’re not just wasting your time? It’s not always easy to know if you should stick it out or call it quits, especially if you love your partner. If any of these things are happening, you’re in a dead end relationship and it’s time to move on.

  1. You’re BFFs with anxiety. Do you find that you’re anxious or stressed out around your partner, but then when they’re not around you feel better? Perhaps when you spend time alone you feel freer or lighter. This is a huge sign that your partner brings a vibe to your life which isn’t conducive to you feeling good and being happy. Over time, this can wear you down and make you depressed.
  2. You don’t know where you’ve gone. No one plans to end up in a dead end relationship, but it can totally erode your sense of self over time. Have you lost yourself? A healthy relationship should make you feel that you can be comfortable and be yourself, totally uncensored and free. You shouldn’t feel like you’ve completely changed or lost who you were before the relationship entered your life. If that’s the case, it’s a huge sign you’re in the wrong relationship that’s dragging you towards a dead end.
  3. You’re the only one pulling the weight. If you’re working hard on making your relationship work but your partner is not putting in any effort anymore, you’re at a relationship dead end. If you’re the one who’s organizing dates and making contact, and compromising but they never do, that’s a whole lot of energy going to a relationship that is pretty much dead on the ground. Why should you kill yourself to try to resuscitate it? Relationships are supposed to be nurtured by both parties, otherwise, they can never work. Period.
  4. You can’t talk to them. If you can’t talk to your partner about serious issues, this can make it really difficult, if not impossible, to work through relationship problems. It’s a bad sign if your partner keeps avoiding these conversations, because it shows that they’ve already checked out of the relationship. They don’t want to work on the relationship because they want out of it.
  5. You’re missing your partner. You’re dating your partner and see them regularly, but you miss them. It’s like the person they used to be isn’t around anymore. If they’ve changed to the point where they’re not satisfying you anymore or making you shake your head because they’ve become someone you wouldn’t have dated to begin with, your relationship has a reduced lifespan.
  6. You don’t have mutual goals. While it’s good for you and your partner to have your own separate goals, you should be working towards goals as a couple. This is what helps you to enrich and strengthen your bond. If you’re not a team when it comes to pretty much anything, then you have to wonder why you’re even together. What is the future going to look like? Is there even one?
  7. You need relationship timeouts. While having time away from your partner is healthy so you can do things you love, you don’t want to feel that you need more and more time away from them. If this is happening to you, it could be a sign that you’re frustrated, unhappy, or feel that you do better when you’re on your own. What value is your partner bringing to your life? It’s time to take stock and ask yourself the hard questions.
  8. You’re all about your physical connection. Was it lust that caused you and your partner to get together? If a physical attraction and/or sex is the main priority of your relationship, that isn’t going to last for a very long time. It requires a deeper connection and bond, otherwise it just won’t last. You should be hot for each other’s personalities, not just your bodies!
  9. You’re totally bored. If you feel like you just wanna space out whenever you spend time with your partner, or you find yourself reaching out to other activities, such as scrolling through IG or FB, instead of talking to them, that’s a massive red flag. Your partner shouldn’t make you feel bored, otherwise, something is seriously wrong. Maybe you used to have more in common or you’ve lost your spark.
  10. Your partner is a work in progress. If you feel you can’t be happy until your partner changes something about themselves, then you’re treading a boundary line into a breakup danger zone. You can’t change anyone and no one should change for you because the changes won’t last. It also sucks to be waiting around for happier relationship days because your partner has to meet certain standards/expectations. No one should be stuck with a work in progress – and no one should feel like one.
  11. You’re having toxic fights. How you fight with your partner says a lot about the health of your relationship. If you’re engaging in toxic fighting habits, such as calling each other names, being nasty to each other, or giving each other the silent treatment for days on end, you’re moving further apart instead of getting closer or resolving your issues.
  12. You’re left hanging. You used to know what was going on with your partner on a very regular basis, but now it feels like they’re closing themselves up around you. You might not be the one they call when they have news, or perhaps they leave you guessing about what they’re thinking or what they want from the relationship. Whenever there’s much more confusion than clarity in your relationship, and confronting your partner about it doesn’t improve the situation, you’re headed for a dead end.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.