12 Ways Love Is Different In Your 30s Than It Was In Your 20s

Whether you’re already with someone or you’re looking for “The One,” everything changes when it comes to love in your 30s compared to your 20s. You’ve grown and evolved, so why shouldn’t love? And while you might think it’s all downhill from here and your horniest, most passionate days are over, you couldn’t be more wrong. The differences between love in your 20s and 30s show just how much better things get with age.

  1. You stay yourself. The younger you are when you fall in love, the more likely you are to change for the other person. You don’t know who you are then. You’re just on this fun-filled ride. By the time you reach your 30s, you’ve learned who you are and what you want. This means you stay yourself and guys either accept it or move on.
  2. It’s more mature. It’s not as boring as it sounds. The wild and passionate love you go through in your 20s is nice, but it often burns out far too quickly. By your 30s, you’re okay not having to go out every night. You’re more interested in learning about each other. While it might seem calmer, there’s more passion and intimacy in a more mature love.
  3. You know exactly what you want. You’re in your 30s and you know exactly what you want from a partner. There’s no more settling. You’re picky and are only going to date guys who meet your criteria. You’re serious about love for once and it shows. This means fewer crappy dates and a bigger chance of finding the right guy.
  4. There’s more space. Forget about stressing out if your guy doesn’t text back in 30 minutes or less. You’re okay having more time apart in your 30s. It doesn’t mean you’re not in love. It just means you’re secure and comfortable in your relationship. You’re fine if he has guy nights. You know he’s coming home to you and that’s all that matters.
  5. You actually talk. I’m not talking about sending thousands of texts a month. I mean real conversation. Love is far more meaningful now and you want to make your words more meaningful too. You still send a few texts, but you’re happier sitting down and talking about your day or spending hours on the phone if you’re apart.
  6. It’s time to get serious. Somehow it seems okay to wait to move in together or get married when you’re in your 20s. The pressure is suddenly on you when you hit your 30s. You start thinking about taking the next step. It’s probably the biggest way love differs. You want a serious relationship more than ever. Not to mention, friends and family are pressuring you to make big decisions such as kids and marriage.
  7. Heartache’s only made you stronger. By your 30s, you’ve been there and done that. Heartache isn’t anything new, but you survived. Now when you love, it’s more hesitant but stronger than ever. You know what’s at risk and it makes you pickier with the dates you choose. When you do open up, you give more of yourself than you did in the past.
  8. Romance is completely different. In your 20s, a romantic night might have meant going to the hottest new restaurant and dropping $200 per person on drinks and dinner. In your 30s, a romantic night is sharing the remote while snuggling on the couch. You’re busy with work and other obligations. When the two of you are together, you’re happy just relaxing. Spending time together is all the romance you need.
  9. It’s harder to let go. Since the pressure is on in your 30s, it’s harder to let go of love. It’s far easier to rebound when you’re in your 20s. Flash forward a decade and you wonder if you’ll meet anyone new. Yes, you will. You’re not ancient. You’re in your 30s. Let go when the love isn’t right and the right love will find you.
  10. You hide less. Who has time to hide all their flaws in their 30s? While some still try, most are more secure in love by this point. So what if you crack one off as you crawl into bed? You’re in love. He’ll laugh, cover his face and snuggle you anyway. Welcome to love in your 30s. It’s far more accepting than in your 20s.
  11. Others don’t get in the way. Don’t get me wrong. Others still try to stick their noses where they don’t belong. The thing is, you’re happier with yourself and your love life. You’re not going to dump a guy you love simply because your family doesn’t like him. You want what’s best for you and others aren’t going to change that, especially when it comes to love.
  12. Love is deeper. In your 20s, you’re more concerned with great sex, going on trips, and hoping you get a guy that buys you expensive things. In your 30s, love is deeper and more true. You’re concerned with working through struggles together, building a family, making each other happy, and sharing your dreams. The superficial fades away as you realize what’s really important in love and life.

Love might change in your 30s, but it changes for the better. Enjoy it and just go with the changes.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.