Why You Need to Forget About “The One That Got Away”

We all have that one person we dreamily call “the one that got away”. In your mind, he was perfect for you, but some kind of unforeseen, uncontrollable circumstances occurred and fate seems to be conspiring to keep you apart. Maybe the timing was off or you just didn’t know what you had until it was gone. Most likely, however, it just wasn’t meant to be. Pining after a guy for any reason is a waste of time. You probably have him on a pedestal because you’ve conveniently chosen to forget all the reasons why he wasn’t The One. Bottom line? He’s gone, and you need to move on.

  1. He’s holding you back from finding someone new. If you can’t seem to let go of the idea that he was your soul mate, and you let him slip through your fingers, how are you ever going to have the energy to nurture a new relationship with one of the amazing guys right in front of your face?
  2. It ended for a reason. Like all break ups, there was a good reason one of you (or both of you) chose to end it. The key to moving on is remembering why it wasn’t working out, and allowing yourself to believe you made the right decision.
  3. Dwelling on the past isn’t good for your future. The past is behind you, and if you keep glancing in the rear view mirror, it’s going to be difficult to focus on keeping your future on the right track.
  4. He’s not coming back. Let go of all the irrational hope that he’ll fight his way back to you like some kind of hero in a Nicholas Sparks novel. It’s not going to happen, and the sooner you accept it, the better.
  5. He’s probably already moved on. You might have just been another blip on the radar to him. Chances are he’s not sitting at home every weekend eating ice cream wondering whether he should call you before he loses you forever. So you shouldn’t be either.
  6. He doesn’t want to be with you. Tough love here ladies — If he wanted to be with you, he’d make it happen. No excuses.
  7. You can do so much better. There’s a guy out there who’ll want you as much as you want him. More even. That’s the kind of love you deserve. Not the unrequited daydreams you’re settling for now.
  8. You have to stop comparing new guys to him. You aren’t going to end up with him, and you aren’t going to end up with his clone. It’s not fair to the guy you’re on a date with right now for you to be thinking, “he’s cool, but he’s just not the same.” Give new guys a chance, and you’ll realize there are tons of good qualities out there that you have no idea you wanted.
  9. Try to appreciate the good times you did have. You probably did have a great time with him, and you probably felt things you had never felt before. But it’s still over. Try to appreciate those memories for what they really are — just good memories.
  10. Not every guy you meet is The One. Just because you thought you were in love with him at the time, and you’ve never felt like that before, doesn’t mean he was The One. There will be plenty more chances to fall in love, so don’t ever think that by letting him go, you’ve missed your chance at happiness.
By day, Courtney is a digital marketing copywriter living in Toronto, Canada. By night, she's a freelance lifestyle writer who, in addition to Bolde.com, contributes regularly to AmongMen.ca, IN Magazine, and SheBlogs Canada. Want to chat about relationships, Stephen King or your favorite true crime podcast/documentary/book? She's on Twitter @courtooo.