When you’re single AF, you’re probably not getting as much action as you’d like — if you’re getting any at all. Nights in with Netflix and your pizza delivery on speed dial is great for a while, but eventually your sex drive kicks in and you get horny. If you’ve ever been in this position, you’ve probably had some (or all) of these thoughts when you’re feeling sexually frustrated AF.
- “I wonder what he’s like in bed.” Complete strangers, people you work with, and even close guy friends are now up for sexual exploitation inside your head. It’s awkward as hell to shake those thoughts off; thankfully, they’re only in your own head.
- “It’s been how long?” You mentally calculate how long it’s been since you last had sex and you feel like old Rose in Titanic. “It’s been 86 years…” but really, it’s only been like six months;Â it just feels like an eternity.
- “If I don’t have sex soon, it’s going to close back up.” What the hell, universe? You’re literally about to become a virgin again here. Can’t someone throw you a bone? Or, you know, a penis?
- “Should I just bite the bullet and look for someone on Tinder?” Hmm… Tinder is there if you really want to find a quick fix . You know for a fact it wouldn’t be hard to find someone. You’ve left-swiped those “DTF?” profiles plenty of times without actually following through on anything. Is it worth it?
- “I need to upgrade my sex toy collection.” When you haven’t had real sex with an actual human in a long ass time, you’ll get tired of your current replacements — the same old dildos and vibrators get boring after a while. Sure, they get the job done, but it’s just not the same as the weight of a man on top of you. Ugh.
- “Lingerie? Pfft, I wish I had someone to wear that for.” And whenever you read those ads that say stuff like, “He won’t be able to resist himself!” you’re like, “Who’s he?” Can you give him my number?”
- “Who do I know that could be down for something casual?” You’re bound to have that little black book moment. You’ll scour your phone list and try to rationalize potential prospects that would be willing to knock boots with you just to end your misery. When you’re sexually frustrated, you’ll go to great lengths to get laid… or so you think.
- “Do I really want casual sex?” But then you second-guess yourself. You start to realize how wrong the idea is and how potentially messy it could be. What if he catches actual feelings? What if you do? Who wants to deal with that mess? Not you. You have enough frustrations.
- “Maybe I should just wait for the right guy to come along.” Sure, waiting for the right guy is the most appealing idea. I mean, how far away could he really be? You’ve waited this long. What’s a little longer?
- “But I’m sooo horny.” The frustration sets in again and you start to feel the urges of a horny teenager. You can’t look at a handsome man anymore without thinking of what he would look like undressed in your bed.
- “I should probably shave so I’m prepared.” When you’re single AF, let’s be real, you don’t shave that often. Why would you? You have no one to impress. But suddenly when sex overtakes your thoughts, you decide to get ready so you’re prepared should an opportunity arise.
- “You know what would be nice right now? A BOYFRIEND.” We all have that bitter thought in the midst of a serious sexual drought. If you had someone you cared about in your life, this would be a total non-issue. Having a boyfriend means having sex on tap 24/7, pretty much whenever you want it (assuming, of course, he’s up for it). Ugh, it blows being sexually frustrated!
- “Sigh… I guess I’ll just hold out a little longer.” If you haven’t found a way to kill the urge among the nutso thoughts you’re having, you might choose to just keep waiting completely. So you order some more sex toys and repeat this cycle until you either eventually cave and have an amazing night of fun, or until the right guy finally makes his appearance. Either way, you’ll eventually end the frustration, so hang in there.
