When someone has high standards, they hold themselves and others up to ideas of perfection. (No pressure!) The problem with this is that they risk experiencing tons of stress and having strained relationships with others, who often don’t understand their intense need to meet lofty expectations. Here are 15 daily struggles people experience when their standards are set a little too high.
1. They focus too much on the destination.
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Although it’s great to strive for a happy relationship or chase one’s dream, people with high standards focus a little too much on reaching their destination. They miss out on the joy of the journey, whether that means getting to know someone before dating them or learning about themselves as they work toward reaching their goals. It’s sad because they’re missing out on the beauty of the moment.
2. They struggle to relax.
If someone chases extremely high standards, they might have a one-track mind when going for what they want. While that’s great and reveals their dedication and commitment, it’s not cool if they’re so overworked that they struggle to relax. They might fill every waking moment with working on their plans, neglecting the importance of rest. They don’t get a chance to replenish their energy and motivation reserves.
3. They criticize others (and feel guilty about it).
People with high standards can sometimes cause others to walk around on eggshells—they do so because they fear they’re not going to meet the sky-high expectations and be judged unfairly for it. Although they don’t mean to make people feel anxious or uncomfortable around them, they can’t deny that it happens. They struggle on a daily basis to accept when people don’t meet their expectations.
4. They put themselves down.
Individuals with high standards aren’t just critical of what other people do, but also themselves. They don’t want to make mistakes, so they push themselves to work hard. If they do slip up, they’re extremely critical, belittling or treating themselves meanly. This doesn’t make their standards easier to reach, though—it just makes them lack self-love.
5. They compare themselves to others.
Since people with high standards are so hard on themselves, they might fall into the trap of comparing themselves to others all the time. They might rate their value and worth according to what other people are doing with their lives. This encourages stress and envy, which dents their self-confidence instead of making them feel positive about their achievements and self-worth.
6. They risk burning out.
Putting tons of stress on oneself to achieve goals can make people with high standards burn out. This can result in symptoms such as insomnia, feeling like they can’t cope, and being extremely irritable with others. They might feel overwhelmed, living in a state of chronic stress and anxiety, and it’s no fun! Constantly striving for unattainable goals can be demoralizing and unhealthy.
7. They have decision paralysis.
Since people with extremely high standards tend to get stressed regularly, it can cause them to struggle with decisions. They might be so afraid to make the wrong choice or not get what they want from making a poor choice that they remain paralyzed. When they hesitate to choose because they’re searching for the “best” option, this puts unnecessary pressure on themselves.
8. They don’t give people a second chance to make a good impression.
When a person with high standards meets someone new, they might be quick to judge them. This is because they don’t want to waste time on someone who doesn’t meet all their criteria. The risk of doing this is that they write people off too quickly, missing out on opportunities to build enriching and satisfying relationships. Although it’s good to know what one wants in relationships, it’s unfair not to give people a chance to reveal who they are!
9. They feel sick.
It’s common for people with extremely high standards to get sick more often. They might experience daily physical symptoms, such as headaches, an upset stomach, or trouble sleeping. This is because chronic stress causes a spike in cortisol, the “stress hormone” in the body, suppressing the immune system. Feeling so much stress can make someone feel sick all the time which, in turn, makes it harder for them to achieve their goals.
10. They fear failure.
Someone who’s got high standards might fear not reaching their lofty expectations. This could be because their fear of failure is perceived as a reflection of their intelligence or worthiness. They internalize failure and think it defines them, which can result in feelings of self-doubt, shame, and guilt. Having an all-or-nothing mindset leaves little room for seeing setbacks as learning opportunities.
11. They’re impatient.
People with high standards tend to feel a strong sense of urgency to achieve their goals, which creates unnecessary stress. They might be impatient with delays or setbacks, which they view as roadblocks preventing them from making progress. In relationships, they might be impatient with people they expect to meet their standards, such as by becoming snappy with loved ones. They know they can’t control everything and everyone around them, yet they can’t seem to chill and let things unfold naturally.
12. They lack boundaries.
Although people with high standards might appear to have strong boundaries because they live according to well-defined rules, this isn’t always the case. They might fear rejection if they assert their boundaries too much, and this could cause them to neglect their needs to avoid confrontation and gain validation. When they struggle to say “no” to other people’s requests and demands, this contributes to their high-stress levels.
13. They get criticized for being “too much.”
Sometimes, people with high standards struggle to feel appreciated by others. If they’re super-stressed or critical of themselves and others, it makes them seem unreasonable or difficult. Such labels can cause them to hide who they really are and, in extreme cases, it could even result in complete isolation.
14. They can’t seem to ask for help.
It’s sometimes really difficult for people with high standards to reach out for support when they need it. They think that asking for help is a sign of weakness, which is something they want to avoid at all costs. So, they’ll take on more tasks and projects, even though they’re already stretching themselves too thin. While they might pride themselves on handling challenges independently, this prevents them from gaining support and prioritizing their well-being.
15. They have an unhealthy work-life balance.
People with high standards value hard work and ambition. This could cause them to lack a healthy balance between work and play, causing them to miss out on opportunities to have fun! It can also result in relationship strain, as their romantic partners or friends might feel like they’re not being valued enough. In their quest for perfection, people with high standards might prioritize their obligations over personal well-being or relationships.
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