If you’re independent and always deal with your own problems, it feels awkward when you find yourself in a situation of having to ask for someone’s help. But it happens to everyone at some point. You can’t do everything alone (even though you’ll try to the death) and your loved ones are there to support you. Still, it’s difficult to speak up and ask for help without it being weird and the last thing you want is to become a burden. Don’t worry – here are nine ways to ask for help so you can leave the conversation feeling confident.
1. Lay Your Feelings On The Table.
It’s always good to make your request personal, as this makes it easier for you and the person you’re asking for help. So, explain how tough it is to ask for help or how you feel embarrassed. Let them see that you’re not trying to take advantage of their good nature or anything like that.
2. Explain How Much They Mean To You.
While you don’t want to throw on too much praise as that can feel manipulative – the person might think you’re just complimenting them to get something out of them – it helps to explain why you’re reaching out to them specifically. Maybe you know they’ll be able to babysit for you because they’re one of the few people who aren’t going away for the weekend, or maybe you know they can help you because they’re always so supportive. Tell them that they’re important to you and you don’t want asking for help to be weird.
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4. Do It At The Right Time.
It’s easy to come across as a burden (and feel like one) if you’re calling your friend at midnight to ask for a favor, or you’re texting them five times in a row even though they’re busy AF. This comes across as desperate and can be weird. So, rather request help calmly and without stress taking over, and at a time when you know your friend will have a few minutes to chat to you. You could say something like, “Could I chat to you when you get a minute? I have a problem and could use your help.”
5. Get Straight To The Point.
Try to deal with your feelings of anxiety before requesting help, so they don’t make the situation difficult for all parties concerned. If you’re struggling to get the words out or you’re rambling on, this can make things weird or confusing. Try to focus on getting straight to the point about what you need and why you need it. It might help to prepare your words beforehand.
6. Give Them Deets.
People will be more open to helping you if they know what’s going on and why you need the help RN. It prevents a dodgy feeling and includes them in the situation. This is especially important if you’re asking them for something out of the blue and you never ask for help. They want to know what’s happened and why you’re struggling so they’re in a better position to help you.
7. Include Them In The Solution.
The last thing you want to do is make it seem like you’re barking orders or giving demands. That’s a huge no-no! If you’re struggling to express your need for help, it can help to say something like, “Can we come up with a solution together?” This gives your friend a chance to think of how they can realistically help you, which will feel less stressful.
8. Don’t Throw On Waterworks.
Look, asking for help isn’t easy, especially if you need a huge favor or money, so it’s natural you might get emotional about the situation. But try to reel in your emotions because it will give you a better outcome. If you’re bawling your eyes out while asking for help, this could make the other person feel uncomfortable or like you’re trying to get their sympathy – they might even think you’re being manipulative.
9. Explain How You’ll Pay Them Back.
Another good way to prevent asking for help becoming an awkward AF situation is to meet them halfway. Promise them that you’ll pay their money back – and give them a deadline by which they’ll have it in their account. If they’re helping you by lending you their car, promise to get it washed and fill it up with gas before giving it back to them. It’s also a good move to offer to help the person when they need help – and be honest about returning the favor.
10. Let Them Know It’s Okay If They Can’t Help.
This is a biggie! When asking for help, it’s always a nice touch to let the person known that if they can’t help you, it won’t harm your friendship or make things awkward. This shows that you value the person and the relationship you have with them more than what they can give you.
