You might be talking to someone who seems like the nicest person in the world, always ready to extend a bit of friendliness, but are they really genuine? They could be trying to fool everyone into thinking they’re super charming and kind when in reality, they’re faking it. Here are 15 fake phrases people use when they’re only pretending to be nice.
1. “Bless Your Heart.”
This one is a big fav in the southern U.S. and it’s clear to anyone who uses it or has heard it often that this isn’t nice at all. This phrase sounds sweet but it can be toxic because it’s dripping with condescension. It’s like you’re being spoken to as a small child. It’s also a way of telling you to basically get lost, to put it lightly.
2. “With All Due Respect…”
Even though the person who says this claims to be giving you the respect you deserve, they’re about to lay into you or say something super offensive. No one ever says this when they’re going to follow it up with something respectful or positive.
3. “I’ll Bear That In Mind.”
This is a “nice” way of pretending that the person will think about your opinion or idea. Meanwhile, they’re not going to do that at all. They’re ready to brush it away and forget about it as soon as the conversation’s over.
4. “That’s… Different.”
When you share a cool idea with your friend, they respond with, “That’s… different.” Do they mean it’s unique and refreshing, or do they mean it’s just weird and they don’t like it? You can’t help but lean towards the latter, especially if they don’t elaborate on it.
5. “I Hope I Can Make It.”
Look, everyone’s busy — we get it. However, it’s better for someone to tell you right away that they don’t have time for you instead of leading you on with a phrase like, “I hope I can make it.” You either can or you can’t! Obviously, this will sometimes be genuine, but more often than not, it’s a way of brushing you off without seeming rude.
6. “Fine.”
“Fine” is a response to a question that never feels like something you can believe. You might ask the person how they are or if it’s okay that you take a rain check with them and they dish you a clipped “Fine.” Yikes. They’re clearly not happy with what you’re saying but they don’t want to get into a fiery argument.
7. “No Offense.”
Why would someone tell you that they don’t want to offend you before they offend you? This phrase is always never-wracking because you know that what they’re about to say is going to hurt. Why are they trying to cushion the effect of their words?
8. “It’s My Opinion.”
While everyone has a right to have and express their opinions, it’s not cool if they’re brutal, hurtful comments that make you feel bad about yourself. When someone says they’re just expressing their opinion, it could be a way for them to cover their backs and reduce your judgment of them.
9. “I’m Being Honest.”
Similar to “It’s my opinion,” “I’m being honest” feels like a copout. It’s like the person wants carte blanche on telling you exactly how they feel, no matter how mean or tactless they’re being. It gives the impression that being blunt is linked to niceness, but it’s not!
10. “You Decide And Let Me Know.”
If your friend expects you to make plans for hangout sessions, it feels like they’re keen to just go with the flow instead of taking charge of the friendship and putting some effort into your relationship. They’re just too “polite” to say so.
11. “If You’re Happy, I’m Happy.”
Your friend doesn’t agree with your life choice, but instead of explaining why, they tell you that your happiness is all that matters to them.m In theory, that’s great., so why doesn’t that feel good? It’s because it feels like they don’t actually care what you do and they just want to end the conversation already.
12. “I Hate Gossip, But…”
Someone who’s pretending to be polite might explain how much they hate gossip, only to launch into the latest rumor going around the office. They want to share the juicy morsel while preventing you from seeing them in a negative light. By proclaiming to be against the very thing they’re doing, they think that somehow covers them.
13. “I Feel So Bad I Can’t Help.”
If you’ve asked your friend for help but they’re unable to offer support, it’s genuinely nice if they tell you that they’re really sorry. However, if they go on about how bad they feel because they can’t help you, it starts to feel fake. If they’re that torn up, they should’ve just helped you out!
14. “I’m Just Saying.”
This uncaring phrase is usually placed at the end of someone’s statement to make the person feel like they’re washing their hands of the upcoming backlash. They might try to get across that they’re just being truthful or sharing their opinion — no big deal! — but it’s actually inappropriate.
15. “I Should Invite You.”
When you hear this phrase, you might think it’s a nice thing for the person to say, but is it really? If they truly wanted to invite you to see their new apartment or to dinner at their home, they would’ve just done so without telling you that they “should.” Don’t hold your breath to hear from them again!
